How to Fail in Order to Achieve Success
Contrary to mainstream media and traditional education, there are more success stories that prove that failing is the sure path to success. We have been programmed into thinking that success is attained by not making mistakes. In the classroom, the teacher praises those that draw within the lines, very neatly. Those that don’t follow the rules are ostracized.
In another article I related the importance of abiding by the rules when it comes to institutions as well as setting rules at home with proper discipline in which the children will become aware of the consequences of their actions. Healthy lifestyles come from proper balance. One thing is making the bad habit of being constantly late for school or not fulfilling promises. Another thing is to prevent our children from reaching into their imagination and their dreams.
Practice at failing- Failure is the world’s greatest teacher. Thomas Alva Edison failed a thousand times before the light bulb finally went on. Fail many times. The earlier you fail in life the better. If you have a dream, know that dreams are meant to become real. Bringing a dream into tangible reality takes hard work. Work for the best and expect the worse. Above all, be willing to get up and get at it again.
Go for ridicule- Live in humble humiliation. Do not allow society to dictate what you should be doing because of your age, gender, appearance or any kind of status. If you have the drive, go for it with all you got. Never mind if people laugh at you or behind your back. Time will tell and even if it never does, you will be better off living your life pursuing your dream than settling for what ifs while on the trenches. Be part of the parade of Life.
Look forward to rejection- Accept it cheerfully. Don’t run away from the spotlight. If it’s your turn to shine, give it your very best, like you have nothing to lose (and you really don’t). If it doesn’t work, you are but crawling, cry if have to, but do get up and get at it, just like you did when you were a baby.
Expect the worse- Make many mistakes and make them courageously. We are meant to learn by doing. If babies were meant to walk at once, they wouldn’t crawl. Babies crawl, fall, stand up, try again, and we motivate them to go on, because we are sure they will somehow succeed.
But then, when they grow into uncharted territory we back off. Since we have not confirmed the results of their unforeseeable future, we find it hard to support them in their dreams. One wants to be a musician, the other wants to become a father, we fear because since we can’t see into the future, we react as we were programmed. Our children are painting outside the lines, so they should be punished, repressed.
Live fearlessly- Nothing to do with living recklessly or irresponsibly, but assertively. Speak your mind. Don't mind the consequences.
Listen to yourself- More than acting, we are set on reacting. Deep inside of us is the motor that truly propel us. There is guidance dictated every moment, if we would just listen. We limited ourselves to five senses, but there is more. Five senses are just the start. We should be able to see clearly as soon as we close our eyes and open our senses within. We ignore intuition, yet we demand a life manual. Listen to yourself very carefully.
Listen closely- Interpersonal communication is an old art, like writing a letter is more a thing of the past. We do not listen to each other anymore. We debate on forums, where ears are not required and still do not open ourselves to even consider others perspectives. We don’t take into account that, if they prove us wrong, we have won, because we have learned something new. But fear of failure dictates that we must strive to be right no matter what, even when we are wrong. Living on the wrong leads to no growth, and even if you are right, you are left without the possibility of building new bridges, new relationships. Being right is not the most important thing, being able to build affective relationships is.
Stay still- We associate success with always been on the go, with no rest, with no stopping and thinking, with no correcting our routes or rethinking our strategies. We are trained that success is a straight line upward. This is not true. Success is a bumpy spiral with ups and down that ultimately leads to personal satisfaction. Learn to remain calm in spite of the storm. Take time to unwind yourself. Rest properly, relax and move on.
Breathe in. Inhale deeply- Exhale... Learn to embrace and indulge in every moment and situation. Develop the habit of being in the moment. Don't be at the party thinking of the dishes at home. Don't go home regretting you left the party. Not to say deny your emotions, just learn to relax as you go. Open your fists, lower your shoulders, rub your eyebrows, close your eyes, breathe in, breathe deeply, let go... Now keep going.
Hug daily, constantly- True success in life comes from healthy, loving relationships. What good is it to have money with no love? I mean really, think about it. Oh, yes we could buy anything we want and be surrounded by “friends”, a façade. Strive for your goals, be ambitious, money included. But be grateful and appreciative of those that were there to support you. Show affection, gratitude and humility regardless of how high or far you have managed to go in life.
Show your feelings, tell them it hurts, be vulnerable- Show them your cards, tell them where you are heading, talk about your dreams and plans, write them down and have them where you can read them on a daily basis. Be honest and sincere about your feelings. Being scared is part of humanity. We are emotional creatures. But We act in spite of being scared like true heroes do. Cry if you are sad. Crying is good. No matter what the latest study said, grief is not a disease. Sadness is not weakness, is part of life, like success is part of life.
Claim your space- Excess of nobility is futile. Be your very best friend and claim your space. Do not buy into philosophies if they don't click with you. Ask questions if you have them, and do not fret until you get your answer. Your dreams are meant to come true, do not let nobody tell you otherwise. Just like cowboys headed to the Wild West to claim their piece of land, and fought fiercely for it, your ideas and your desires are your own pot of gold, do not let go.
Create new stories, new worlds. Have children? Make their life a living fairytale. It does not take a budget to fantasize. There is no sin or wrongdoing in having a vivid imagination and a strong desire to make dreams come true.