Guide to a Guilt-Free Break Up
No matter what the circumstances are in a relationship, breaking up is never an easy thing to do. Yet it is a normal part of the relationship cycle when a partnership isn't working out.
Many people feel pretty guilty either before or after breaking up with someone, and this is a normal emotion to experience. However, if you know in your heart the relationship needs to end for whatever reason, by taking a few proactive steps you can know you are making the right decision and move on from the relationship with guilt-free feelings.
If you have problems with your partner that you do not see any resolution to, be honest with him or her about your feelings. It may be your mate is unaware he or she is doing something wrong and is more than willing to rectify the situation, or it could be he or she is aware and doesn't care.
Whichever the case, as long as you are honest about your feelings, you give your partner the chance to digest the information and respond to you. Honesty is truly the best policy. You don't have to be mean in your openness when expressing your feelings, just truthful. It is important for each person to communicate his or her needs or problems in what's going on in the relationship, even if things are about to end.
Don't Make Rash Decisions
Sometimes things happen in the spur of the moment and it is human to want to make immediate or rash decisions when emotions are running high. While the desire to make a decision is strong, this is usually not the best time for a break up because it seldom is good to be reactive; being proactive is usually the best approach. Be sure you know for sure you want to call it quits.
If you know you want to leave your mate, be sure you have carefully weighed this decision before going ahead with the actual breakup, this way you won't lament that you perhaps initiated the breakup in the heat of the moment or during a time when you were angry. If so, chances are you'll have regrets later on.
Open communication goes hand in hand with honesty. When someone breaks up with another person and is not communicating his or her issues, this can leave the other party feeling bewildered and / or upset when the breakup does occur. Communicating wants, needs and feelings is essential in any type of relationship. When two people can communicate and put everything is out in the open, a breakup is often easier to grasp and won't come as a surprise. This does not mean breaking up won't hurt, but the person ending things can leave the relationship feeling less guilty because they aren't blindsiding a soon-to-be former partner by simply breaking up without any explanation.
Don't String Things Along
Most people don't like to hurt others when breaking up and, as a result, drag things on. This doesn't do you or your partner justice because the only thing it does is prolong the inevitable pain, hurt or even heartbreak. When you make the decision to break up, don't delay too long. Instead, be firm and tell your partner gently, but do not string him or her along any longer in the relationship.
When initiating the break up, make a clean cut and let him or her know your intention so he or she can be free to heal and move on as well as yourself. This is the kinder thing to do, and this way you can exit the relationship feeling no guilt that you led the person on or presented the relationship to be something it wasn't. While sometimes ex-partners can be friends, usually this takes time, so in many cases, it is best to just end things, at least for the immediate future.
Give Your All
Depending on the reasons why you want to break up, the effort you choose to either put in or not put in will play a significant part in whether or not you feel guilty once you tell your significant other you want to break up.
If you love the person and gave your all in trying to make it work, you can rest easy knowing you did everything humanly possible to try and fix the problems in the relationship. On the other hand, if you are not happy and simply don't want to be with this person, you can end the relationship knowing in your heart it wasn't meant to be.
Breaking up with someone is rarely easy, and often a lot of guilt is associated with the breakup, however, if you consider the above actions, you'll increase your chances of leaving the relationship with a guilt-free conscience.