What am I doing wrong?

She looked me in the eyes and stuttered "I'm sorry.  I just don't like you."  It was one of the worst days of my life.  For the next three years I thought about this girl constantly.  She was going to be the one. We were going to grow old together.  We had the same interests, the same sense of humor, and I found her attractive.  Why didn't she like me? 

Looking back on my twenty year old self,  I wasted so much time pining over someone who, honestly, wasn't that special.  I know some of you have the same problem, and I want to help.

The Truth Hurts

First of all, if you are currently infatuated with someone and if they've already turned you down, you have my fullest sympathy.  Rejection hurts like nothing else.  If we were friends I would love to hear you talk about it for an hour.   However, I have to tell you what everyone has told you by now:

Get over them.

The truth hurts, but I'm on your team.  Right now  you're not thinking clearly.   You can't see the future because your mind's eye is clouded. In my twenty-eight years of life, I've only seen one one person succesful date one of their crushes.  I've seen hundreds of people fall hopelessly in love with someone only to meet their significant other within a year of being shot down by a crush.

The Major Problem

Chances are you've fallen into the fabled "friend zone", an imaginary land where all the citizens are extremely, extremly bitter.  .  Of course you know when a relationship could work;  however, most people , for better or worse, don't think about relationships logically.  If they did, why would people marry complete and total scumbags and then stay with them.

The Major Solution

I'm going to say this once, and I want you to remember it.

Most people don't want money, status or security.  People want someone who is more invested in something than they will ever be in them.

You need a passion.  If you don't have a passion you're in trouble.  Have you ever known a hard-core gamer who had an amazing girlfriend? I have.  Do you know how he got her?  He was way more invested in playing games then dating her, and she found that attractive.  

The answer?  Get a passion.  Your current crush may not change their mind about you, but future relationships will happen.   Remember, you'll never get someone by acting out rom-com fantasies, and no matter how much you love someone it will never guarantee they'll love you back.  Love something before you love someone, and you'll find your relationship problems disappear.