A simple guide to building attraction and succeeding
1. Groom Yourself
You might not think that it's important, but a man's hygiene and what he wears is very important to a woman. It may sound superficial, but it cannot be denied that a woman's first impressions are largely based on a man's clothes, his posture and his facial expressions. In today's word, people make their judgments about someone in the first 3 seconds of meeting them. They spend the next 90 seconds confirming their initial thoughts. Try to avoid shirts or pants that are too bulky or too tight. You want to wear clothing that not only fits your body but also is comfortable. And remember, walking with your back straight and taking strides with your heels firmly at the ground can make all the difference. It shows confidence!
2. Play to Your Strengths
Not everyman can be tall and handsome as Brad Pitt, but that shouldn't discourage you from approaching women. Take a look at yourself in the mirror and think of all the strengths that you possess. Try to write down 10. Once you've got your list, narrow it down to the top 3. These will be your tools to build attraction.
3. Build Confidence
Confidence doesn't come naturally to a lot of men, including myself. The great thing about confidence is that it can be built and learned. Up until my college years, I was a shy guy who rarely approached women and I would be so nervous when talking to an attractive female. Then one day I woke up and told myself that I was going to change. A good buddy of mine suggested that I give him 100 dollars. For every girl I approached and talked to, he would give me 20 dollars back. I only had two options: approach and talk to a girl I had never met or lose my money. The first three dozen or so approaches were awkward and cringe worthy, but the experiences I took from them were unforgettable. As I began to approach more and more women, it became easier. And after doing it a hundred or so times, I no longer feared what the girl thought about me because if she wasn't into me, I would just move on to the next. And for every phone number that I received, my confidence level jumped up another notch. You can't expect to gain total confidence overnight, but it is certainly attainable with time and experience.
4. The Approach
The Internet is littered with pick-up lines and I would say 99% of them are cheesy and totally ineffective when it comes to applying them in the real world. Usually, when I am at a party or bar, I first scan the room for potential women to approach. I tend to avoid girls that are in groups because there is always the possibility of her friend interfering. Girls who are by themselves or look like they're not having fun are good for approaching. If you manage to make eye contact with a girl, don't break away like most guys do. Try to maintain it for as long as you can. If she's not into you, she'll look away but if she is, she'll give you a smile and this is a clear green light for you to approach her. When approaching, I don't use any clever lines. I usually start with "Hi, my name is ______."
5. Maintaining Attraction
Once you've gotten past your angst over approaching woman, you must learn how to maintain the conversation and rapport. Asking meaningful questions is one way of continuing the momentum. It is important to note that when you ask questions you don't fire off one question after the other. This will make it seem as if the girl is being interrogated and scare her away. You want her to feel comfortable in your presence. A good way to ask meaningful questions is by first asking a general question such as, "What do you do?" Listen to her response and follow it up with a second question, "How do you like it?" You want there to be a smooth flow between questions.
6. Building Attraction
Once you've gotten to know her better, the spotlight will turn to you. This is your moment to shine. It is at this stage that humor and your ability to tell stories comes in to play. Not everyone can be funny, but you can definitely be interesting by preparing a few stories that you can tell based on your experiences. A personal story I like to tell people is when I was traveling abroad in Cuba, studying film and photography. It is a unique story because not many Americans have been to Cuba and it shows that I enjoy traveling and the arts. Take a look at your life and try to highlight memorable experiences that you think are worthy of sharing. Practice in front of a mirror exactly how you will go about telling this story. Remember, delivery is 50% of telling a good story. A great story can be a complete dud if told poorly without any passion or enthusiasm.
7. Sealing the Deal
A woman will definitely give off signs if she's interested in you. Some hints that a woman can give if she's attracted to you are as follows:
1. She's smiling
2. She's leaning into you
3. She touches the back of her neck
4. She keeps playing or touching her hair
5. She laughs at your jokes
6. She maintains eye contact
7. She can't sit still
8. She touches you
Usually, if a woman is exhibiting these signs, she is obviously attracted to you. Be the first to end the conversation by saying something like, "Look it was great talking to you, but I have to go check up on my friends. But before I do, let me get your number. I would love to take you to lunch or dinner sometime." That's pretty much all there is to it.