Marital problems are quite common with everyone. The fact many resort to divorce instead of trying to deal with the problems only leads to more problems in the future with other relationships.
The unresolved issues will haunt the individual no matter how the person tries to tell themselves or others they are over the past. The past needs to be dealt with properly to move forward with the future.
To deal with marital issues it is important to step back from the issues and think clearly. Marriage help can be required as the hurt pain and possible betrayal will cloud the issues resulting in an impasse unless for a certain amount of time each person can turn off the negative feelings to deal with the salvation of the marriage.
Reflect on the happier times of the relationship. Realize that you still love your spouse. Love is next to impossible to kill. You can say you do not love your spouse but if you are hurting then you still have love for them. You would not be hurting if you had any type of feelings or love for them. Face that fact and use it to create a solution for your problems.
Sit down with your spouse and discuss in a positive manner the issues. Do not accuse or find fault. Do not make negative or rude comments. LISTEN to each other.
Let your spouse speak freely and openly about how they are feeling or thinking. Do not interrupt them while they talk. This is the groundbreaking step to heal the issues and decrease the need for marriage help.
Try to see how your spouse is feeling and why. See the issues through their eyes. Generally most issues and problems are the results of miscommunication between the couple. Seeing is not always the way things were. Personal perception is the root of the majority of the problems. Discuss the situation and resolve the misunderstandings.
When the spouse is talking show true interest and concern. Listen attentively. Do not present yourself as the brick wall that does not care or as the person that is going to scream at them for expressing their feelings. Remember you want them to hear what you have to say so be respectful and listen calmly.
Sometimes a couple needs an outsider to listen to them or to help mediate their discussions. This is when a martial counselor is used and a great idea. The concept of using a professional that is a third party will help the marriage and create a new understanding for the problems in the marriage. This is an additional marriage help.