I believe that any person has the ability to better themselves at whatever he or she does. I believe that with immediate and appropriate feedback, a person can stretch their abilities to new heights. I've identified a few topics that have helped me give proper feedback to subordinates, peers, and family members that you may find appropriate to your situation.

Event – be specific.

When speaking about the event, you must make every effort to specify such things as the date, the meeting name and what specifically was discussed. If you are speaking to a family member, you would want to mention when the event happened, who you met with and what you were specifically talking about. In any case, you will not want to have doubt as to which meeting it was as the next thing you would need to do is explain in detail the conduct that was observed.

Conduct – capture HOW of a behavior by noticing: 1) Body language, tone of voice, and speaking manner, and 3) Word choice.

Your next goal is to mention details on how the person's tone of voice, body language and mannerism were displayed. Take care to only mention the behavior itself as your feedback can easily be perceived as an attack in character - which is the wrong thing to do. You will do best to mention such things as what was actually said versus what was interpreted. Also, when speaking about the conduct, indicate only your point-of-view – do not speak on anyone's behalf but yourself.

Effect – it means the reaction to a behavior (don't speak to one's behavior but, rather, how your reaction or feeling to the behavior).

Remember that when you deliver the feedback, the person receiving this information will recall the situation in their mind so do not mention the behavior you interpreted as it will only start an argument. Rather, mention how his or her conduct made you feel – they will not be able to argue on the validity on how you felt. However, if you tell them how you speculated they behaved, you are now no longer providing feedback but making an emotional assumption which would be wrong. If you continue the incorrect feedback, you will have a very difficult time making this conversation effective.

Delivery – serve the dish in a way that they'll want to come back for more.

As you deliver this feedback to the recipient, stay calm and mild mannered. You will do best to keep a relaxed look. Be sure that your body language matches this expression by keeping your posture correct and keeping your arms and legs in a comfortable while sitting upright. When speaking, convey only what is relevant to the situation while being specific. Afterwards, talk about how it made you feel. Keep from continuing on unnecessarily and do not recall any personal accounts of how you went through the same situation in the past – this does not help.

In conclusion, do not fret; the skill of giving proper feedback can be acquired by anyone. Moving forward, take every opportunity to provide feedback. Practice, practice, and practice. Any when your done, practice some more. You will find that widening your communication medium wills only further your experience (e.g., email, letter correspondence, etc.). Criticize away!