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How to Help Your Children Deal With Divorce Better

By Edited Feb 25, 2014 0 0

Children experience the effects of divorce at the time of the breakup and for decades afterward. When children of divorce grow up, many face greater fears that their own relationships will fail. Yet children suffer much less when parents make a joint effort to help them adjust to the new family situation.

Parents should tell their children together about their divorce and discuss where the children will live. Children often blame themselves for the failure of their parents marriage, so parents must emphasize that the children did nothing wrong. Parents should remind children of their love for them frequently.

Some children ask questions, some cry, and some appear not to react at all when they learn their parents are divorcing. Parents should accept any reaction, including none at all. Most children want to know how the divorce will affect them, wondering, where they will live, can they still do things, if they will have to go to a new school. It's important that parents be honest with children about possible outcomes and involve children in decision making. Parents should never give children false hope that parents might get back together. Parents should resist the urge to spoil children who are feeling sad. It is also important not to confide in children or place them in the middle of arguments. This unfairly makes them fell that they have to take sides. In fact, they desperately need the love of both parents to get through this time. Many children show behaviour problems affect their parents breakup. Even children who appear happy on the surface may be hiding their pain to keep parents from worrying.

Divorce changes children's lives forever. It's the responsibility of both parents to minimize the impact whenever possible and help children adjust to changes. Here are a few tips for helping children cope.

Step 1

Keep things as normal as possible
Maintain routines, including family mealtimes and rules of behavior.

· Step 2

Maintain Ties
Help children stay in touch with their friends and members of both sides of the family. Encourage visits, calls and e-mails to help maintain these important relationships.

· Step 3

Create a special place
If the child must move, help the child personalize his or her space in the new home.Have children keep personal belongings in each parent's home if they go back and forth frequently.

· Step 4

Develop new traditions
Holiday activities may change. Children may spend holidays with only one parent or with a newly blended family. Invite children to invent new holiday traditions while maintaining some old favorites.

· Step 5

Watch for changes
Observe changes in the child's behavior, school performance, and temperament. If a child withdraws or shows a major shift in behavior, visit the pediatrician or counselor.

· Step 6

Work with the school
Make the child's teacher aware of the situation. Many schools offer professional resources, referrals, and even lunch groups to help children cope Everyone would like to know how to help children deal with divorce better because divorce changes children's lives forever. It's the responsibility of both parents to minimize the impact whenever possible and help children adjust to changes. Here are a few things you can do in these steps to help children cope better.

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