How to Keep Your Calm When Your Kids Acts Up

Learning how to calm yourself when your kids are going crazy is key to helping your kids learn to calm themselves. If you are a calm parent who can talk to your kids when they are in trouble instead of yelling at them, your children will then learn to communicate with you in the same manner over time. Consistency really does matter. Your children learn from you, and if you are teaching them to yell and essentially freak out when things go wrong, they will do the same thing.

Things You Will Need

Determination

Willingness

A LOT of patience

Confidence

Keep calm when you know before hand that a situation could get ugly. You know your child and you already know what will set him or her off. If you are in a grocery store and your child asks for some candy you already know that saying no to him/her could cause a problem. Remember, saying it the right way can make all the difference. For example, "You know honey, I'm not going to buy this for you today, but I bet if you show me what a big boy or girl you can be today and listen really good then we could probably get you something tomorrow." Taking the focus away from you saying no, and instead putting the focus on your child earning a reward can really help shift your child's focus away from not getting what he or she wants. If this doesn't work...keep your calm! If you get loud because your child gets loud everything will fall apart. Let your child know that the bad behavior will mean a punishment will be given, and get out of that store as soon as possible. The longer you stay the more attention your child gets while acting out, and that is not what you want to give your kid. It's a type of reward...don't give your child the reward of lots of attention when they are not acting appropriately.

Take deep breaths and think about what your child just did, and decide how you should respond, don't react right away. Your son or daughter may grab your lipstick and draw all over your couch, when you find it your emotions rise up and you want to scream. Don't do that. Stop and think. Did your little one know this was wrong? If so then a punishment is needed. But what if your child simply did not know? What then? You may be mad at the situation but getting mad doesn't change the fact that your child is watching how you handle this. Stay calm. Talk to your son or daughter and explain why it was wrong. If a punishment is needed then make sure to explain in a calm fashion that this behavior is not acceptable and there will be a consequence for it. If your child didn't know better then explain why it was wrong, and move on. Let your child know that it isn't good and now that he or she knows better, this shouldn't happen again.

If your child willfully disobeyed you, there has to be a punishment of some kind. There HAS TO BE. One of the best ways to discipline a child is to take away a favorite toy or possession. Does your son or daughter love video games? Taking something like that away for a specific amount of time can really get the message across. Also, stick with the amount of time you decided upon. You need to be consistent. If you take away the TV it may mean that other people in the family have to suffer as well...so be it. It is all for the benefit of your child.

Also, make sure that whatever punishment you give is one that you are willing to stick with. If your first reaction is to say that your little boy or girl can no longer go to that birthday party that he or she has been waiting for all week...you better be willing to stick with that. What you say goes...and your child needs to know that you won't change your mind.

Get down to your child's level. Look them in the eyes when you talk to them and make sure they look right at you. This will ensure that everyone is focused and that everything is being heard. If you have to put your hands on each side of your son or daughters face so that all they see is you. Eye contact can solve so many problems.

Like everything in life, trying your best is what matters...any effort you put into keeping your calm, is good effort.

Tips & Warnings