How should I kiss someone?
Whether this is your first kiss or not, these tips on how to kiss will help!
Learning how to kiss is a natural part of life. So many people find themselves becoming embarrased or extremely nervous about that first kiss, whether it is the first kiss they share with someone in their lifetime; or their first kiss with a new partner. With the internet growing in popularity to learn how to do a variety of things, it is no surprise that searches for learning "how to kiss" someone properly have been skyrocketing over the past few years. Of course, the focus of this article on on both learning "how to kiss," but also learning how to kiss well enough that your partner will want to kiss you again! Read on if you're interested in learning how to kiss, and be sure to leave a comment telling me about your first kissing experience as well!
HOW TO KISS: THE STARTERS
STEP 1: Find a partner
Talk about the most obvious component of kissing, but in all honesty sometimes the first barrier people have to climb over when they are thinking about kissing and other forms of intimacy with another person is finding that special person to share it with. On this point I would not suggest rushing into a relationship just to learn how to kiss, but when the time comes figuring how and when to kiss will come pretty naturally. While kissing can be somewhat of a scarey thing, it is only those first few seconds that you have to really worry about. Once your lips are locked, you will learn how to kiss well in no time!
STEP 2: Go on a date
Learning how to kiss requires people to focus on learning how to set the stage for a potential kiss. You cannot just expect to meet someone and kiss them within 5 minutes of meeting (though, for some people I am sure this does happen). Go to the movies, out to dinner, or something that will make you feel laid back and relaxed with your potential kissing partner. Having a good date that is fun and relaxing will no doubt set the stage to feel more comfortable when you go in for that kiss to seal in the awesomeness of the day!
STEP 3: Think about where you want to kiss, but not too hard!
Your first kiss should be a special occasion, and as such you should have in mind where you would like it to go down. For example, do you want it outside of your house? Maybe inside? In a public place? These are fairly basic but important questions you should consider before jumping into learning how to kiss someone properly. Of course, the best kisses are spontaneous; so don't think too long and hard on this point.
This point is especially important if you have some sort of standard on intimacy. For example, some people will not be comfortable kissing in their house on the couch until they get to know someone better; as they may not want it to lead to sex or other forms of intimacy. Just something to keep in mind!
STEP 4: Look at the physical signs that someone wants to kiss you
You may have heard about how body language makes up 80% percent of communication between people. When it comes to kissing, this is a very important thing to point out. You will not often be told by someone "I want to kiss you," but rather it will be something that will happen naturally. Still, there are signs which could suggest it may be coming sooner then you think:
-Talking becomes difficult and "choppy"
-A red/flush looking face
-Laughter for no apparent reason, or at stupid things
-Eyes become heavy
While there are certainly more things you could note, these are some vital signs that a kiss is coming.
STEP 5: Take control and suggest your interest in a kiss
When learning how to kiss, sometimes being the person actively seeking it out might just be your style. This is the difference between "dominance" and "submissiveness." Many people can find a nice middle ground between these. In the context of learning how to kiss, you should learn how to suggest to your partner that you want to kiss; while he/she is giving you signs of their own desire. Some tips for suggesting your own interest in kissing are as follows:
-Stare at the other person longer then usual
-Smile, a lot
-Touch your partner in soft ways (like the middle of their back)
-Get closer to them
-Make a bad joke about people kissing
Of course, you could be a more straightforward individual; so maybe just saying "I want to kiss you" is right for you? Ultimately, you have to make that decision!
Step 6: Natural vs. Awkward
If your time with your partner has been going well, when the time comes to kiss you will know it instinctively. Having a natural kiss will leave you feeling satisfied, as opposed to a kiss that feels forced, awkward, or unnecessary for the moment. Do not force yourself to kiss someone if you're not ready or in the mood, you want it to be special and as comfortable as possible for the first time.
Step 7: Where to put my hands?
I recently watched an episode of Boy Meets World where Corey talks to his friends about how to kiss, and more importantly, where to put his hands. This is always a major concern for many people new to kissing, so the common response to this is simply put your hands where you feel comfortable. Typically, the middle of the back or on the sides (just above the hips) is usually recommended as it is not inherently sexual; nor is it suggesting that you just want to be friends (and not kiss). From there, let nature run its course.
Step 8: How long should I kiss for?
The thing about kissing is that you can do it for as long as you (and your partner) want. It is not like a movie that runs for 2 hours then ends. Sometimes people will kiss for a few seconds, othertimes those little kisses will lead to hour long make out sessions. The hardest part is learning how to kiss for those first few seconds. Once you are there though, your body sort of goes on autopilot and it is just easy sailing from there!
Step 9: The importance of leaning in
When leaning in to kiss your significant other, you should be sure you absolutely want to go through with it. This is the final action you will likely be making before your lips meet the other person's lips.
Step 10: Just kiss already!
I hope these tips have provided you some help with learning how to kiss, but in all honesty the only way you will learn is if you try. After those first few seconds, kissing becomes natural as it should be. You will probably love kissing because it leads to release of a variety of chemicals in the body like dopamine (the "feel good" chemical) and oxytocin (the "touching" chemical). Enjoy!