Teens naturally want more freedom, which parents are often reluctant to grant. Parents want to protect their children from the dangers and disappointments that more freedom brings. As a mother their goal is to keep them alive and well even if they hate them for it. Parents want teens to prove they are ready for independence. Teens don't see the need to do so. They sometimes think that their mother is trying to control or ruin their lives, not realizing they are only trying to protect them from harm because they no best.
Teens want to spend more time friends and less with family. These opposing positions can lead to friction and arguments at home.
Teens tendency to begin questioning adult wisdom and authority also causes tension. All of these changes in attitudes and actions can cause friction between teens and adults.
The need to move toward independence is a major concern of teens. Understanding the importance of this need can help parents better respond to teens concerns
Teens typically want to spend more time with their friends without an adult supervision. They enjoy practicing adult skills, such as driving, and wanting to explore the world on their own.
Parents sometimes worry that lack of supervision can lead to reckless or even illegal behavior, sexual activity, and possible pregnancy. They may also worry about a teens safety while driving alone, or that a teen with too much freedom will neglect schoolwork.
Teens need to experience a reasonable amount of independence. That's how they learn the consequences of their decisions as they transition to young adulthood.
There is a list of some steps parents should consider when a teen ask for more freedom. If parents answer yes to all of these questions on the steps ,they might should consider increasing a teens privileges. However it should be clear that these privileges will be taken away if any serious trouble results. This understanding will be a strong incentive to use the newly won independence in a responsible way.
Has the teen usually been responsible, well behaved and truthful?
Do I know and trust the teens friends and their families?
Does the teen drive safely and understand all the traffic laws?
Is he or she doing well in school? This is a high achievement, they should be given some credit for this.