How to Know if He/She is Unfaithful

Signs that he/she is cheating on you

Is He CheatingCredit: Carlos Ebert


One of the most challenging situations that a couple can face in a relationship is infidelity.  When one of the partners chooses to cheat, the damage can be devastating and often the relationship is not able to recover, leading to an inevitable breakup.  Of course there is a lot of controversy surrounding the topic of who is more inclined to be unfaithful, him or her, and the reality is  likely to be that either one, given the right circumstances and situation, is capable of cheating on their partner. 

Of course there are different categories or levels of unfaithfulness. As well as the purely carnal infidelity in which one partner may still emotionally love the other but is involved in one or several sexual relationships outside of the relationship for one reason or another, we can consider emotional infidelity in which our partner is not only cheating on us physically but has betrayed on hearts by sharing feelings of love with another. And of course in today’s world of online communities, chat rooms, and adult sites, the level of both the carnal (clearly) and the emotional (less obvious) unfaithfulness has risen dramatically and both have morphed into an entirely new and controversial category of cyber cheating.  The following are some signs that could warn of the possibility that he or she is cheating on you either in reality or via internet.


Irrational Arguments

Generally speaking, in all cases of cheating, be it in reality or cyber, the partner that is being unfaithful will tend to be the one that initiates a fight or argument over things that seem trivial or illogical. They can become super critical and intolerant of the actions of their partner and even demonstrate hostility, anger or become abusive. We could speculate that this irrational hostility is related to guilt, defensiveness or an unconscious attempt to end the relationship so that they may be free to pursue their activities without guilt or obstacles.

Lack of Interest

Again, whether with a lover of flesh and blood or one that has invaded the home via a high speed fiber optic line, if he or she is cheating you are going to notice a significant decline in their sex drive. Excuses will arise, or in the case that they do have sex, it will be more physical than emotional and it’s likely that they will avoid eye contact or have their eyes closed trying to imagine the image of their lover.


Cyber Infidelity

Cheating via internet is without question on the rise and although at first glance we may not take it seriously, it is quickly becoming a real threat to modern relationships. And with the ease of access and apparent innocence represented by what has become a normal part  of our everyday lives, (after all it’s just the internet) our cyber lovers have an open invitation to come into our lives. Signs that your partner is cheating with a cyber (or several) lover include:

A change in sleep patterns

- Not going to bed when you do

- Sleeping in late

- Getting up earlier than he/she used to or when it’s not necessary


- Demanding privacy when he/she is on the computer

- Nervous or sensitive if you try to use his/her laptop

And of course we will notice all of the other signs and symptoms that we notice with “real life” cheating, including a lack of interest in sex even more noticeable than with a real lover.

Of course all of these signs could be related to some other life problem that your partner is going through and possibly not sharing with you, so it is important to have all of the facts before we draw conclusions. Communication in any relationship is the key to its survival, so an open conversation and dialog would be the best way to know if you have something to worry about or not.