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How to Make Important Choices When You Are Young and Confused

By Edited Mar 18, 2014 0 0

I figured that I would right this article as a young adult who has had to go out into the ominous "real world" that our older relatives and teachers warn us with when learning and behaving immaturely as a high school student and a security blanket called mom and dad- but they don't ever prepare you for what you are thrown into, let alone give you advice until after you already failed! It's a tough stage in life that determines a lot about an individuals future and personality or grown up identity. When we are in school, I know that we are oblivious to the stuff that we are about to have to do that is way more important than who was the star athlete or who had to prettiest hair, the only people that have a really good change over everyone else is the super smart kids, but sometimes they fall the hardest when faced with new temptation and freedom to make their own choices and do things they never experienced before. I believe that it is the kids who are creative and driven to do something big- but have no clue what, it leaves a lot more doors of oppourtunity and the chance to explore more life options than mom and dad sending you to medical school hoping you pull yourself together enough to become a doctor and hopefully pay them back for their patience and super high college loan debt to ensure you had a good head start. Well sorry to say that you are better off telling your parents to save their money because you are going to make so many wrong decisions that you will probably end up a free lance artitst living out of their basement until you get famous. Your going to think to have a plan, but really with no "real life" experience, all of us young adults are going to fail miserably inevidably and get knocked off whatever high horse we were on in high school. Some adults may act like they are still in high school, but that is the one thing you will be ready for- everything else will seem overwhelming and unfair, and of course, our immature attitude a lack of respect for work and self reliance will get us some choice words from elders and executives lecturing you on how you will be have and what you have to do, because guess what, until you are in their spot, you have to listen- it's life, and there is nothing that anyone of us can do about it. However, some kids get lucky, they have trust funds and the ability to risk financial and material loss, but most people try to become independent and realize that mom and dad were doing an awesome job of making sure you were taken care of despite your typical teenage attitude of arrogance.

And I am not saying this to be mean, I am just being honest, no where in high school or in a special class do they prepare you for all of the failures and poor decision making skills you will come to realize about yourself when you decide to go and be all indepentant with confidence, no experience, and no plan on what you are doing or where you need to go. I feel jipped, and I don't know if everyone experiences this, but I feel like I learned what I did inschool, and not a lick of it that I remember is helping me rationalize what I want and what I need, and that all my decisions are effecting a lot more than what I wear but bills that I have to pay because I decided a credit card was cool to have- until I maxed it out on trivial things that did NOT help me make any more good decisions, or realizing that I could afford my own car that is practically new and I paid way more than I should have, giving me some pretty high car payments that I didn't think about until I ran short on cash... luckily my parents had the extra money to help me fix my overlooked detail and I felt accomplished when i was able to reimburse them! I slowly but surely gained respect at my awesome-for-my-experience- of-nothing job that I was lucky taught me more great skills to have than I realized, and when things got so tough that I though I couldn't handle it, I let me immaturity and uncertainty rule my rationale and I quit the job, I still feel okay about it, but I wish that I would have stuck it out, tried my best to work on a better solution, and become more patient. Sadly, that was a lesson learned that left me with some savings that is low now and the pressure to get a new job before I start missing payments on those special little credit cards that I used so effortlessly when no cash was being exchanged.. ugh, sometimes I feel like a child because I know I haven't grown enough and failed enough to avoid a lot more mistakes. But at the same time, I got lucky in my situation and had great mentors, supportive parents, and a strong drive to be successful by my 5 year class reunion and show everyone that I wasn't all fun and goofing off, I have awesome potential!!! If only I would have tried more, maybe I would have realized that I could have gotten a more challenging degree and pursued a high paying job of my dreams, but I didn't I didn't know what was going to happen and I didn't really care, because no one decided to sit me down and say that I was going to feel like the slowest, dumbest, biggest failure I had ever known, and that at that crucial age where you have to grow up faster than you had in all 18 years so far, within weeks, and you think you know it all before you are quickly taught that you are the least knowledgeable and have to completely decide where to begin your journey of trial and tribulation to become an bonafied adult who is considered mature, wise, and capable of sustainig relationships, working and being consistent, nobody congratulating you on your good grades or good game, nothing matters except how you react to this harsh environment that you are forced to adapt to, but it is not all bad- don't let me scare you into staying in your parents basement until your 40, because they have been waiting for this time in your life, where you still need them when you stumble, but they can see how well they did in raising a strong child who will grow and one day be mature enough to begin their own family and instill those same values!! This time in a persons life whether it be right out of highschool for some, and out of college for others, it is going to be exciting, scary, tough, new, and no one will care about your success until you care about your future and being successful. I strongly believe that this time in my life I am looked at as inexperienced, but I use that as my motivation to learn new things, act maturely, make the best decisions, and learn how everything in real life works and how I am going to use it to make the most out of the new life plan I am forming daily! Below is a basic how-to of how I make decisions without letting my age get the best of me. We are all use to a way of life when we are under our parents, but now we have to adhere to a whole new set of rules, some of us more prepared and capable than our peers.

Things You Will Need

You first need to stop and relax, it is going to be very easy to get overwhelmed or just not even have any idea what you should do or how you can go about the choices. It is so important to remain calm, if your parents or a friend can keep you calm and thinking clearly, talk to them while deciding. This way you will be thinking clearly and not risking your inexperience, fear, and immaturity do your deciding, because now it will most definitly be bad.

Step 1

Now, use your calm thinking to consider the consequenses of each choice, this way you can think of how each scenario will play out depending on which you choose. If you are lucky, you may have a boss who is supportive and can help you with your first few decisions and how to decided correctly what is more important and better suited to solve your issue. They have experience and shouldn't treat you like you are a child when guiding you through the correct way to make decisions.

Step 2

Now, use your calm thinking to consider the consequenses of each choice, this way you can think of how each scenario will play out depending on which you choose. If you are lucky, you may have a boss who is supportive and can help you with your first few decisions and how to decided correctly what is more important and better suited to solve your issue. They have experience and shouldn't treat you like you are a child when guiding you through the correct way to make decisions.

I feel that I got lucky enough to fall into a situation that really supported my growth and change in behavior from care free high schooler who didn't have a plan for life, to someone who had no choice but to get a job and start being responsible courtesy of my dad who realized that I needed something to get me started- and decided that a vehicle that I had to find a way to pay for was the best way to get my jump started. It's not neccessarily what I expected, but it is what I needed to get me started in my new responsibility laden life, I would have never thought to go out and get a job if it weren't for that darn truck payment!! And I tell you what, I had loads of trouble adjusting to a supervisor that I had no choice but to listen to, and of course, they will treat you like you are young, arrogant, and need discipline- it will be up to you to show them how dependable and smart you are before you can get any respect or remarks on great performance, it's fun to show those older hard edged executives that you may be young, but you are not easily scared nor afraid to show them how awesome you can do. They think that us younger adults don't care about skills, and our jobs, or respecting the time they put into their careers and educations, but I have taken pride in showing how hard working I am and how I have grown to be just as professional and beneficial to my company as they have been. I work just as hard to get the respect and acknowledgement that I never knew I needed to succeed. In order to be successful, you must fail, try, learn, remember, and grow- its tough, and there have been times I wish Icould just quit and try again later in life, but you can't stop, you can't do over, and you still have responsibilities even if you don't get out of bed. Growing up is tough, and growing as a individual and as a mature rational adult at the same time is going to be the hardest challenge of becoming who you will eventually become, but it is a huge factor in making your plans reality as well. SO to all my young adults, don't even think that you know the first thing about entering this new stage in life, because it must be in a code somewhere to make sure we all get blindsided and humbled before we can succeed and life our lives well.

Tips & Warnings

Once you have cleared your mind, played out your choices, and talked to an experienced worker or boss about your situation, you should be very well prepared to follow through with your choice. Now, if you decide on a choice that turns out to be less than expected, its okay- this is how you will learn, it could always be worse!! And this time you took your time, used the experience that you had to make a smart, mature decision based on intellect and not impulsive urges.

Last little tip, it doesn't matter if you were the smartest or most liked in high school, because in the real world no one knows you, they don't know how pretty or smart you are, they see you as another person to work with, and in our case they look down on us because they make their assumtions and question our motives. It is so important to your own success and growth to forget about all the material things your parents might have gotten you because they won't get you anything now, you can't act entitled to respect or a good job, because everyone of us has to prove what we have right now so that everyone can see with their own eyes how driven and great workers we all are so that we to can have the nicer things in life, and can learn valuable lessons. Adapting to this new way of life is going to be so hard for some, and luckily for others, easy because of the choices they made and how they chose to go about this new chapter. You must realize that no one can make you do anything and choose your choices for you, you are the only one responsible for what happens now and the only one that can do the work to get you where you plan to go in life, and hey, if you don't have a plan- you will find your way and stumble across your life path along the way, there is no way you can continue to grow maturely and intelectually and not realize what you want to do with your new found independent and totally open to anything life! Take chances, learn from mistakes, and grown into a well rounded respectable adult!



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