Did you know that women are wired to feel attraction to guys who display certain characteristics? What this means is that if you display these four qualities, women will feel attraction – they don’t have a choice. Attraction is far more about communication and the way you carry yourself than about your looks.
Mystery, one of the world’s top pickup artists, once said that women feel attracted to men who systematically demonstrate higher value – that they’re more valuable than the other guys around them. He goes on to say that there are four main attraction switches used to show higher value. Flip these four switches, and girls will find you attractive.
The Four Attraction Switches
So what are these four switches? Let’s look at each in detail.
Preselected by other women. If a girl sees that other girls already like you, this gives you “social proof.” Other girls are proving that you’re valuable. Therefore, she will also find you attractive. Another reason this works is that if a girl sees that other girls want you, your value increases. Girls want a guy that they can brag to their friends about. She wants to feel like she got someone valuable.
So how do you flip this switch? You don’t have to get other girls to like you first. Find a couple of girls and start talking to them. Then get them to walk with you as you approach the girl you like. This girl will see that others hang out with you, so she will too. This is probably the easiest way to flip this switch – talk to/hang out with girls so that others notice.
This is the easiest, and most powerful, switch that you can flip in person.
The leader of men. This is why guys like being the “alpha male,” because girls like a leader. Being the main guy in a group makes you valuable in the eyes of women. Like I said before, women want a guy whom they can brag to their friends about.
You can flip this switch by being vocal, outgoing, and leading the discussion around you. Walk up to a group and immediately comment on something (bonus if it’s witty). Demonstrate that you are talkative, smart, and not shy. Don’t look like you’re just trying to get attention – simply guide the discussion and be a vocal member of the group.
Protector of family and loved ones. Girls want to know that if they were your girlfriend, you’d protect and defend her. Demonstrate that you’re this type of guy by showing that you protect your family and loved ones. This is difficult to do in person, but you can always talk about it. Try telling stories about yourself and your loved ones – past girlfriends, siblings, etc.
Willingness to emote. You don’t want to be that guy who stands around with a big fake smile the whole time. Be positive, but don’t be fake. An attractive guy will display a variety of emotions – he can laugh, he can be annoyed, he can get angry when someone spills his drink. Mystery says that this shows her that your emotional circuitry is normal. How do you do this? Act normally, and show that you’re not all fake smiles.
The whole point of these is to show higher value. Make yourself the most valuable guy in the room – these four switches are how to do it. Flip two of them, and it’ll go a long way. Get three, and you should be set.
The Power of Telling Stories
So what if you can’t show some of these switches in person? Well, try telling stories. Stories are a great way to build attraction, because you can be outgoing and have everyone listening to you (switch #2), and you can bake in whatever switches you need. For example, if you can’t flip switch #3 in person, you could tell a story about how you defended a past girlfriend once.
Note: Like I mentioned at the beginning, you don’t have to be super good-looking to be attractive. Attraction is based on subconscious triggers that you display. It’s mainly the way you carry yourself, the way you talk, and the way you act – not the way you look.
Disclaimer – these techniques are good for being attractive, being popular, or getting a date. They don’t really work for long-term relationships though. For that, you need to be yourself, and there are a lot of other factors besides attraction there.
In summary, if you can show a couple of these switches in the presence of a girl, it’ll go a long way in making you look attractive. Remember, it’s all about making yourself valuable in their eyes. If you use these four strategies, girls will find you attractive – they don’t have a choice.