Learning how to mend a broken heart begins and ends with the determination to do exactly that. Of course, broken hearts have been known to mend according to their own timeframe, but just like an actual physical fracture that leaves one with a twisted limb or a painful limp, when not properly positioned for healing, broken hearts can mend poorly and display evidence of trauma for a lifetime. In order to avoid the long-term effects of a heart, which has been mended by time yet still bears painful scars, it is important that broken hearts are tended to with care and deliberate action.
Recovery is a Process
Broken hearts can happen overnight, but,
really, the process leading to their trauma takes time. Before a break there is
courtship, infatuation, time spent building a relationship and, ultimately, the
process of falling deeply in love. Each of these phases takes time, as well as
a mental and possibly even a spiritual investment. Therefore, it is
unreasonable to believe that a person who has undergone this life-changing
process will quickly recover when devastation strikes. This is why time, though
it is not the only remedy that should be relied upon, is a crucial element of
the healing process. A person suffering with a broken heart would do well to
realize this immediately and consciously allow themselves time to recover.
Is it Too Soon to Begin Dating Again?
During a period of healing, it is recommended that a person not begin a new relationship. To do so can severely interrupt the process and can cause further damage to a person's self-esteem. As well, engaging in a new relationship too soon after a heart break can be harmful to the new person entering a relationship with one who is still seeking to mend a broken heart. Although a heartbroken person may appear healthy on the outside, emotionally they are wounded, weakened and will often actively avoid showing love to another for fear that their sensitive heart may be harmed again. Instead, a broken-hearted person is advised to spend time focusing on themselves, nurturing their heart, learning from their recent relationship experience and forgiving themselves, as well as their former partner for any wrongs, which may have led to a breakup.
Focus on Goals
Learning how to mend a broken heart also includes setting new goals and redirecting one's energy. Essentially, it is a time to focus on growth and self-improvement. In most every painful situation, a person is given an opportunity to learn something about herself or his self. While on the mend, a person should reflect upon the things they are passionate about and consider new, creative ways of enjoying these passions. This is also a time to stretch beyond one's comfort zone by setting new goals both for the short and long term. Doing so helps to create a new sense of awareness, a new sense of purpose and serves to bring positive change to one's life despite their relationship setback.