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How to Not Get Embarrassed by Using the Public Restroom

By Edited Dec 13, 2013 0 4

Public Restroom

SITUATION ONE

Sitting on the toilet you suddenly hear somebody try to open the restroom door. Uh oh! Now they are waiting outside the bathroom, thinking that you're committing a #2. Do you want to make them think that you are just applying yourself to the #1, even if you're not? This one, VERY EASY, step will make anyone who uses the restroom behind you think that you only had to pee (which does not create embarrassment like delivering a #2 does).

SITUATION TWO

How about the time you only had to pee, and because that cute guy behind you was trying to use the same restroom, you made him wait. But then you checked in the mirror and thought you needed to fix your hair. Now you're taking longer than a #1 would normally take. And this would cause embarrassment because the cute guy outside the door thinks otherwise. Presently he's thinking about telling his buddies what you were doing in that bathroom. So what do you do to keep him from thinking those streaks in the toilet aren't yours?

SITUATION THREE

You're in a busy coffee shop all day studying and you need to really use the restroom without anybody thinking you spent a little too much time in there. I mean, you're going to be in that coffee shop the rest of the day. You don't want them eyeing you in a peculiar way. That's just embarrassing. And this whole post is about not becoming embarrassed by using the restroom.

SITUATION FOUR

You enter the restroom and it already smells odorsome. Now somebody is waiting upon you. We both know that you don't want the person behind you to think this smell was from you. What do you do?

EXPLANATION

Nobody looks down on you for using the restroom. But if they know that you're in the process of dropping the kids off at the pool, they will think that that's inappropriate in a public place. You should be at home for that. But nobody will think that if you simply have to tinkle. This is just common sense. It's fast, it's easy, it's simple. And it doesn't leave a bad odor behind! This is just polite. So what's the best way to make people think that you're just tinkling and not leaving anything behind that would harm those after you? There's one simple thing you can do. And here it is:

THE SOLUTION

Raise the toilet seat. The subsequent customers will think you could not have performed a #2 if the seat is up. You have gotten away free. You will no longer be embarrassed, even if you do implement the second "amendment". If you're a guy, the person behind you will think, "Oh yeah, they just had to pee." If you're a girl, they'll think you didn't even use the toilet, but were fixing your makeup or doing your hair. This is the best way of keeping your dignity intact. Otherwise you're stuck wondering if they are judging you. And nobody wants that! Hope this helps you all have a much more relaxed experience in the public restroom. Good luck and God bless!

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Comments

Jan 27, 2011 8:08pm
LPerry
Who new toileting involved so much strategy :) Is this just for the guys?
Jan 28, 2011 10:42am
manspaugh
Lol! Maybe. ;)
Jan 28, 2011 4:20pm
LPerry
Either way, it's a super interesting and entertaining article that I learned a lot from. A really fun read...I look forward to reading more of your articles. You have a wonderful style of writing. :)
Jan 28, 2011 4:27pm
manspaugh
Thanks! I appreciate that!
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