Guys â have you ever had a crush on a girl but felt unsure of what to say to her? Or, have you tried to start a conversation with her and suddenly felt like you forgot how to speak? You're not alone if you're not sure how to talk to girls â sometimes it can seem like men and women truly are from different planets! Read on to find out how to overcome your shyness, speak up and just talk to a girl...
The Only Person To Be Is The One You Are
First and foremost, whether you're new to the dating scene or an old hand that would rival Rico Suave, remember, the most important thing is to be yourself! The reasoning behind this is twofold â not only is it painfully obvious if you're trying to be someone you're not, but don't forget also that if you really like her, she'll eventually find out who you really are. (And who you really are is awesome â its when you try to start faking it that things get a little tricky) Think about it â say your crush loves animals and is a PETA activist, but the only place you like to see the four-legged species is on your plate. Don't pretend to share her interests just to make her like you! Its almost guaranteed to not go over well when she asks you about PETA's new advertizing campaign while you're ordering a rare hamburger with extra bacon. There's a difference between sharing interests and being interested in your significant others hobbies, even if they're not you're own. Also, always remember that the best you is the real you! (Not only do liars not get the girl, but they also look pretty stupid in the end. There's no bigger turn-off to girls than guys who don't have enough confidence in themselves to be strong in their own interests and hobbies)
Remember That Common Interests Are Important, But Opposites Also Attract
Next, remember that being yourself doesn't mean that you have to have everything in common with your crush in order to make things work. In fact, its often differences that make life interesting! If she loves the Mets and you live for the Yankees, try to make it a friendly rivalry and not a deal breaker.
The Important Part â What To Say
You're confident, ready to be yourself and psyched â how do you actually start a conversation with a girl? Anything like, "I've seen you around town a lot...", "Come here often...?" or any pickup line is a definite NO! (There's a reason why people laugh at collections of pickup lines â don't be that guy!) Simple conversation starters work the best â hold the door for her, ask how her day was, or ask for a simple favor.
At a bar that's busy but not packed? Ask her to watch your drink while you step outside.
At a sporting event? Chat her up about how amazing the winning pass was, or ask her who her favorite player is.
In the same class? Ask her to clear up a part of a confusing lecture.
Work together? Ask her if her group or department needs any help with any upcoming deadlines.
Bring up a common situation. Is your train really packed? Talk about it. Is she drinking your favorite beer? Compliment her on her stellar choice. Is it really rainy? The weather is an oldie, but still a goodie. If you're a funny guy, try making a joke. (Disclaimer â tell a joke you know well, but if you mess up the punchline, don't get embarrassed, just laugh it off)
Keep It Cool
Far too often, spending a ton of time trying to concoct a reason to talk to a girl, or a speech to preface your conversation can quickly turn things awkward. Just keep it casual. If you have to start off your conversation with a justification or reason for chatting, its best to either drop the intro speech, or not say anything at all and wait until you're more relaxed.
What's The Worst That Could Happen?
If you're still nervous, ask yourself what the worst possible outcome of talking to your crush could possibly be. Will she laugh at you? Ignore you? If so, she's not worth it anyway, and at least you can say you tried. Also, remember that as relaxed and cool as she may look, she's probably just as nervous as you are. She'll probably go home and call her girlfriends to talk about you â don't worry about that, just go with the flow!
Now Go For It!
Pretend you're talking to an old friend. How? Don't dwell on what you're going to say, just say it. The longer you contemplate how you'll start the conversation, the more awkward it will probably be. You wouldn't analyze how you would talk to a guy friend, would you?
In sum, be yourself, keep it cool, don't over analyze and have fun! From Venus or Mars, we're all just people with the same insecurities. Best of luck!