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How to Teach Your Young Child And Teen Self- Control

By Edited Oct 10, 2015 0 1

When you teach your child self-control, you can start it early and continuously. Remember that a teenager will experience a difficult transition period sometime in life so it's better that he or she knows how to control his or her behavior early in life.

It can be frustrating to parents and caregiver when kids melt down at home, in a restaurant, in a crowded street or store, and during family reunions. Kids can learn self-control if parents and caregivers will teach them how to respond to different situations.

Teaching your child the effective and positive ways about self-control will help him/her get along with other children. He or she will grow as a responsible and loving teenager who knows how to avoid trouble. When kids learn self-control effectively, they can make better decisions in life and know how to respond to very stressful situations in amazing ways that often give positive results.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging


1. Show to your child that there are solutions to the problems in this life and emotional control is a good thing when dealing to any difficult situation. If you're in a very emotional situation and your kids are with you, you can still show thatyou're upset and sad but calmly tell them why you're in this kind of situation.

If you think that they can help solve the problem then discuss with them the possible solutions. When you become a good role model yourself in the way you handle your own problems then there is a high chance that your child will learn self-control at an early age and apply it effectively in life.

2. Prevent outbursts by distracting your infant with educational toys or other fun and learning activities. Infants and toddlers easily get frustrated by the things and activities they want to do. When parents try to stop them because they might get hurt by doing those things and activities then they show temper-tantrums.

When your child is below 2 years of age, he or she often responds with temper tantrums so be patient enough to calm him or her down when this happens. For 2-year-old kids, start to give a brief timeout in an assigned area like her small chair in the living area or any place where it's safe. This kind of training will teach your child the consequences for sudden outbursts.

Your toddler will soon realize that it's better to be patient, take some time alone instead of throwing a tantrum. As a parent, you're probably spending a lot of time trying to figure out what your toddler says. Remember that it's also important that he or she understands what you also say so try to speak in clear and simple sentences.

3. Improve your child's sense of self-control by giving time-outs. You can keep on using timeouts for a 3-6 year-old child. Be careful not to put a rule for a specific time limit. Once your child has calmed down then end the timeout immediately.

Time-outs can effectively teach your child how to be patient. Make sure that your actions will clearly demonstrate that tantrums won't give them the major advantage and explain to your child why you had given the time-out.

Don't give in through his/her cries of frustration so that you can show to your child that the tantrum displayed was truly unacceptable. Remember to praise your child's achievement for keeping his or her self-control during the time when he or she was upset, angry and frustrated.

4. Let your child know that you will really do what you say. If you already had told your child, for example, that he is not allowed to watch TV after 8 o'clock in the evening because it's bed time then you must follow what you say. Even if your kid may plead, cry or even scream wishing that you'll give in then be firm with your decision.

5. Encourage your child to understand about what's causing him/her to lose control. Help your kid to determine and examine the cause so that it's easier to find a solution and help improve his or her self-esteem. If you can talk this positively to your child then he/she will feel much more better and gain more trust from you.

Your child may also disclose things to you that will bother him/her in the future. You also need to encourage your children to do something positive such as cleaning and arranging the things in their room just to make them busy when they are in a frustrating situation. This is a good way to allow the children ages 7-10 to cool off for a few minutes instead of having an instant outburst.

6. Discipline your teen with the age between 15-17 by removing some privileges in order to strengthen the importance of self-control. At this age range, an older teen is already capable in determining what is right and wrong. Your teen knows how to manage most of his or her thoughts and actions, so it's advisable that parents need to be firm with their disciplinary plans.

As a parent or guardian, you can remove one of your teen's privileges by taking away a personal entertainment access like his or her netbook or laptop computer. A teenager needs appropriate guidance from their parents so that he or she will avoid slamming the door or yelling out loud when he or she gets angry and upset. This is also the time that a teenager sneaks out from the house without parental permission so it's vital to calmly remind your teen to think about the consequences of his or her bad behavior.

Tips & Warning:

Teaching children will power over their actions is one of the most important things that parents can offer their kids because these are very valuable skills for their success later in life. Take note that when you teach self-control skills, you are also helping them to weigh the consequences of their actions, make good choices, improve self-esteem, think before they act as well as control their impulses.

Show love to your young child or teenager because rebellious behavior is usually rooted as a result from not receiving the love and attention that they deserve. Let them feel and know that you truly care so that your young children or teens will learn how to handle their emotions very well. Avoid giving physical punishment to your child because this could only add bad behavior and poor self-control by the time that he or she is older.



Mar 27, 2012 5:38pm
Fabulous advice and you give it in a very kind and affirmative way. Advice in the wrong hands doesn't always come across well when it comes to parenting advice, but you did so lovely.
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