Does She Fancy You?
Break the Code of Attraction
So you are in your local bar and you see an attractive woman across the room. You study her for a while and there is something about her that makes you want to get to know her better. Your mates are with you and you don’t want to make a fool of yourself. What should you look for to try and gauge whether or not an approach will be accepted or rebuffed? Does she or does she not, find you attractive?
Some experts say that over 75% of what we communicate to our fellow human beings is done non-verbally. This means that there is plenty to watch out for and plenty to learn. This could be a little misleading because we are genetically predisposed to interpret gestures, posture and facial expressions but at a subconscious level. So what we need to do is educate ourselves and bring this knowledge that we already possess to the forefront to help us make conscious decisions about our course of action.
But I digress. So let’s get back to that local bar and start to develop a step by step plan for getting together with that gorgeous lady across the room shall we?
Initial eye contact and what happens immediately afterwards can be very revealing and is in fact quite safe because it can all take place at a distance. Your pals do not have to know what is happening at this stage. So the first thing you have to do is to try and catch her eye. Holding your gaze for little longer than normal or looking away and then looking back represents a positive reaction. If she then starts to twirl or stroke her hair, sits up straighter or adjusts her clothing, this is a strong indicator that the initial contact with you has provoked an emotional reaction.
You have interpreted her reaction as positive so you rehearse your opening line and prepare to approach her with your stomach churning. What should you be looking for? The first thing to look out for as you approach her personal space is a smile and a slight widening of the eyes. Blushing or a pink tinge appearing on the face is normally a good sign as is an adjustment of posture in your direction.
Is She Really Interested?
Success! You have approached her, bought her a drink and begun a conversation. This is the point at which you really need to read the signals to gauge whether her initial interest is maintained or disappointment is setting in. What should you be looking out for as the conversation develops?
There are three ways to gauge your progress
1) Facial Expression – She should be maintaining regular eye contact with you and her smile should be relaxed and frequent. Widening of the eyes and dilation of the pupils is very positive as is a continued red flush. Fluttering of the eyelashes, rapid blinking and moistening of the lips by the tongue are also very good
2) Body Language – there are 2 types of body language that we display. Closed (folded arms, crossing the legs pointing away from you, closed feet) is not what you want but open body language such as expressive open armed gestures, crossing the legs in your direction, feet open in a V, occasional touching during the conversation, inclining the head in your direction and mimicking your gestures, all bode well for the future.
3) Tone of Voice – if she alters the tone and pitch of her voice to match yours or softens it considerably then you know you are well on the road to success
So now that you know how to read the signs it is all down to you. Get out there and give yourself a much better chance of avoiding rejection. Oh and by the way ... good luck!