Simple Tie Tying
So you receive an invitation to the most sought after party of the year. You start jumping up and down with excitement! Then you reach the bottom of the invite and the bold words jump out at you. Formal dress attire only. Your heart sinks down to your stomach in dread as you realize you should have paid more attention to your boring, dull father as he tried to teach you the art of tying that hangman's noose around your neck. Well never fear! The tie man is here! I've figured out a real simple way to tie the bane of manly existence.
First, put on your best button up shirt.
Next, flip your collar up and drap the tie across your neck with the fat side on the RIGHT.
After that, take the fat side and cross OVER AND TO THE RIGHT of the skinny side.
Continue UNDER the skinny side and pull the fat side THROUGH the hole you have just created.
Now at this point, the skinny side should be positioned straight DOWN and the fat side sticking out to your LEFT.
Next, wrap the fat side UNDER the knot and then continue wrapping ON TOP of the knot so it is again sticking out to the LEFT.
Wrap the fat end UNDER and pull it THROUGH the hole by your neck.
Stick the fat end INBETWEEN the knot and through the section of fat side that you barely wraped.
Pull on the fat end to tighten the knot.
Pull on the skinny end to tighten around your neck.
Pull your collar down and adjust the knot to smooth it down for a wonderful and stylish look.
Congratulations you have tied a tie!
Now you can attend that elite party and be the envy of the block! Go to that party. Meet a girl. She will love that you look so dang classy! You'll eventually get her number and then after a few drinks stagger off into the night. Hopefully you will have a great buddy you can call to pick you up cuz everyone knows that drinking and driving can lead to horrible after effects! So you collapse in bed and sleep the night away. Eventually at like two in the morning you'll wake up with this pounding headache and think back to last night. You will say to your self "Man that was one great night! And its all thanks to a wonderful guy who taught me how to look a bit more classy."
Well you are welcome underprivileged man! Go and change the world!