Do you feel that sometimes, you aren't doing the best job you can as a mother? Being a mother in today's society is becoming increasingly hard. Mothers have to work to earn income, as well as balance it with family duties such as cleaning and tidying. If you have toddlers, babies, teenagers, daughters and sons... it can be quite a handful. But you can still be a great mother simply by following this guide!
First: What makes a good mother?
A good mother is patient, happy and loving.
A mother knows when she has done a good job by how well her children have turned out, although if your kids turn out bad, this does not mean you did a bad job! However you should be capable of informing your offspring on the proper way to live their lives. If you close off these doors, you are not doing a good job as a mother.
Second: How do you become the ideal mother?
First you need to be dedicated. Expect yourself to invest a good chunk of your time on self improvement. Being a good mother does not happen overnight, and even if it did, you still need to actively 'mother' your children on a day to day basis. This is a life time challenge to embrace, so begin getting used to it!
Third: Steps you should take every day.
1) Ask yourself if you're more positive than negative during the day.
If you are more negative during the day, then you may be sending bad vibes to your children. Children are extremely sensitive to bad vibes and can often pick up unwanted habits or vocabulary from this. Their overall mood will also reflect yours, being grumpy, stubborn and misbehaving. Furthermore, the long term impact is that your teenager or child may become a moody adolescent.
2) Cheer yourself up and have a treat.
Mothers need a treat to stay positive. Fathers, husbands or children are unlikely to give you praises, even if you do everything for them. Just remember that what you do is not to earn praises in return, but for the satisfaction of simply giving your children the best out of life.
3) Understand the term UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
The most important thing my mother ever told me was 'unconditional love'. This means that, no matter what your child does, you will love him or her. It also means you should expect nothing back in return, in terms of feelings, attitude or money. Whatever you do for your child must be completely free and out of love. If you are 'expecting' your child to love you back, then you are incorrect. A mother must always be there for her child even if the son or daughter goes off the tracks and becomes a bad person. You are the only rock he or she can hold onto, YOU are the most important person in their lives.
Fourth: Get the husband to support you?
Sometimes it's hard to assert your control over the house and family if your husband constantly conflicts with your decisions. For instance, if you set ground rules which he allows the children to break, then your children will develop bad behavioural problems. And who is going to fix these problems? Most often, the mother takes over the job.
You need to coordinate with your husband and let him know what he has to do. If they are simple instructions, then the husband can easily follow them and pass them onto their teenage son or daughter. By giving a united front, you are also giving the impression to your kids on how strong your point is and reassuring their sense of security.
Fifth: Consider getting a Nanny or Helper.
Depending on where you live, having a nanny or helper may be quite common. They are extremely helpful as they help take the load off from cooking and washing, leaving you more time to be with your kids. Spending quality time with your teenage daughter and son will help improve your relationship immediately, not to mention you will feel significantly less stressed. If you are less stressed, you will be easier to communicate with yourself.
This option isn't available for everyone however, but there is the sixth step to help you!
Sixth: Take time off your work or other activities
Spending time with your children and offspring is a long term investment. You should not waste a single opportunity doing what you can do with your teenage children.
For instance, due to the increased amount of computer usage in this age and time, you yourself may be addicted to the computer! You should take time off immediately and take them out to the park every once and a while. Outdoor physical activities are great bonding activities.
Seventh: Bonding tips
Running out of ideas on what activities to do with your son or daughter? Here are my final tips!
1) Play football or frisbee in the park
2) Go to competitions together
3) Take them to a theme park
4) Go camping
5) Organize a barbeque
6) Go fishing together
Outdoor activities are a great way to create a good parent-child relationship. In fact it works for almost every relationship out there I believe!
Well, this concludes my article. I certainly hope this advice will help you become a better mother, or help you to reach your own personal goal.