Marital infidelity can be something no husband or wife wants to face. Do you find yourself asking "is my spouse cheating?" To catch a cheating spouse might not be as difficult as you think. Hiring a infidelity private investigator might not always be needed. It's difficult to keep something hidden from someone. The truth sometimes has a way of exposing itself. Catching a cheating spouse can be a life altering experience. You must prepare yourself for the worst, if you suspect a cheating spouse. Because chances are this will be one of the most painful, and troubling feelings you'll ever experience.
The sad fact of life is that adultery has become very common in America and other parts of the world. A very scary statistic according to author Peggy Vaughan, from the book Monogamy Myth, 60% of husbands and 40% of wives will have an affair at least once in their marriage. According to infidelity facts, 53% of divorces in America end from infidelity. 74% of men have admitted they'd have an affair if they were never caught, where 68% women said the the same. These stats alone shouldn't put doubt into your mind, but should make you more cautious with who you get involved with. Sometimes it's hard to determine someone's true intentions. Some people can be devious. Even the one's close to you can turn out differently than you'd ever image.
When suspecting a cheating spouse, you should try to be open to your spouse first. The worst thing to do is assume something, and show them you've lost faith in them. If you feel something is off, the first step is to open up with your spouse. Signs of a cheating spouse can be sometimes difficult to figure out. However, the best way to approach them is to express your thoughts. Well, maybe you don't flat out tell them that you suspect they're involved in marital infidelity. Explain your concerns in a respectful matter and try get on the same page. You might find out it's something different. Assumptions are something you never want to go on.
If your spouse becomes shutoff, refusing to communicate, then they're probably hiding something from you. Or at the very least, they don't seem to want to include you into their life with certain particulars. Either way, these are not signs of a healthy marriage. Usually one who is having an affair will act tense, or get extremely offensive when you ask questions. Trying to catch your cheating spouse will require you to think outside the box. Even if you suspect they are cheating, you'll still need some kind of indication or proof that they are. Even if you know that they're lying to you, that doesn't always indicate marital infidelity. It usually does, but remember to try to limit assumptions.
10 signs of a cheating spouse
1.) Lack of physical intimacy.
2.) Lack of emotional intimacy.
3.) Lack of activity in your life.
4.) Extremely sensitive, paranoid, nervous, or moody with you.
5.) Change in personality.
6.) Ignores you and is forgetful of things to do with you.
7.) Talks very complimentary of the opposite sex.
8.) Dresses up extra nice when going out without you.
9.) Often comes home late, or inconsistent hours with questionable excuses.
10.) Doesn't express their feelings or thoughts to you as much, or at all anymore.
Catching a cheating spouse
1.) Gather all suspicions and clues. If you're positive they're cheating, then you can begin to play infidelity investigator on the matter. A lot of clues can be perfume, or cologne on clothes that doesn't match yours. One time could be a coincidence. Maybe your husband hugged his mom, just an example. Although if this perfume smell, or cologne smell keeps coming up on their clothes, then its very unlikely. Clothes are something to always check. There can be an earrings, or possessions in your spouse's pants or jacket pocket that might not belong to you, or your spouse. Maybe they got left there by accident. Things like that happen all the time. Different accessories can be the first step to catching a cheating spouse. Think of your spouses car, or other places they occupy.
2.) Check credit cards and phone bills. Large number of expenses from credit card bills that include, hotels, motels, and restaurants are something to keep an eye on. Your spouse might try to pass it off as business related lunches if you notice lots of restaurant bills. Or going out to lunch with a buddy. However, if this is the first time you've discovered these large bill payments, it might be a little suspicious they've not mention this to you. One or two bills isn't something to cause for suspicion. Hotel bills that haven't resolved into any business trips are dead giveaway. Most cheating spouses are probably more careful with using hotels on credit cards, since they're obvious red flags. For example, if you notice one particular motel billing, or restaurant billing, then check up on it yourself. On his or her lunch break (or whenever you suspect they're at these specific places), see who they're with. Then mention the billing, and see if you can catch them in a lie.
3.) Check cell phones. Cell phones can be dead giveaways. If there's a particular number that seems to be popping up a lot, that can be a clue. Research the phone number if possible. There's cell phone reverse searches on the internet. You might have to pay for it, but you can figure out who the number belongs to. If it's not their typical buddy, then confront them about this number.
4.) Catch them in lies. Remember things they tell you, or places they've been. Remember anything that seems suspicious, and bring this info up later. Write it down if you have to, so you're sure you weren't mistaking yourself. See if they stick to the story they told you before. It's hard for them to remember the lies they've told, so eventually they will slip up. They might do it just naturally even. For example, last Tuesday they might accidentally tell so and so they saw the movie Shutters Island, when they told you they went shopping for shoes. Even a really good liar is bound to get their facts and lies mixed up.
5.) Check up on them. If you are catching them in lies, then check up on them. See where they go on their lunch break. When they say they're somewhere, check up to see if they are really there. If you yourself can't do so because of other obligations, then a infidelity private investigator might be needed.
6.) Change your routines and see if they slip up. You're probably familiar with a lot of cliche movies, or shows where the wife or husband comes home, only to find their spouse cheating on them. I don't have statistics on where most affairs occur, but I don't think all cheating spouses happen in someone's home. Not to say it doesn't happen, or that it's not very common. Some people are more careful, and an affair at home is by far the most common place for a cheating partner to get caught. Whether or not the affair happens at your residence, can vary on circumstances. If you work as a freelancer, then the odds are very slim. If the person your spouse is cheating on is single, chances are the affair happens at their place. Not to mention most marriages have children, so an affair happening in the actual home can be extremely difficult. Even if he or she knows you're away.
However, change your routines up though. Usually an affair tends to rely on your routines. For example, if you go to the gym every Tuesday, or you're working morning shifts from 7-11, change them up. On a day you're suppose to be somewhere your spouse knows about, come home randomly instead. You leave chance for error on your spouse's part.
Understand that snooping on your spouse can cause marriage problems. It's not recommended to do so, unless you're pretty much positive they are having an affair and refuse to tell you. You yourself want to be honest with your spouse. Also try to give them the benefit of doubt, as much as possible. You should only investigate when you know they've lied to you, and they refuse to come clean. You should confront them first, or ask for possible clarifications for any confusion.
Understand that assumptions can cause problems in your marriage, especially if you're wrong. If you suspect they are continuing to lie, then gather all information, or suspicious behavior before hand. Confront them again and give them a chance to explain. You can hire a infidelity private investigator if you're having no luck finding proof. Even though infidelity happens, don't let mistrust, jealousy, or paranoia lead you to any assumptions. Go with your gut instincts and common sense of the situation.