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How to deal with jealousy

By Edited Jan 17, 2016 1 0

Jealousy, in a small amount, may and can be of service in a relationship. It can keep the relationship warm or rekindle the fire of love that has faded away.

But, similar to medicine, we can not take too much of it. If we take a medicine more than prescribed, rather than healing us from our disease, it will instead make us worse. And most strong medicines can even kill those who swallow them too much.

The similar analogy can be applied to jealousy. While a small, tiny amount of jealousy is often desired and in some cases needed, a high amount of it will be poisonous to every romantic relationship. Unless something be done before things get too late, over-jealousy can destroy even the most ideal relationship.

So, we should rein over our jealousy if we do not want it to ruin our invaluable relationship. But, how to deal with jealousy? There are several steps to do that. Let's find out some of them.

1. Get to know what it is that can trigger your jealousy.

What is it, truly, that can trigger your jealousy feeling? Do you feel jealous when you catch your loved-one speaking with the opposite sex? Or do you feel an uneasy feeling when you learn that somebody is attracted to your partner?

Ask that question to yourself but be honest when answering it. You may uncover that the real problem rests, mainly, in you, not in your partner. Yes, because that is the true essence of jealousy: fear. And fear always comes within, never from outside.

2. Be open to your partner.

When we are jealous, we tend to conceal it from our partner. We may even pretend as if we did not bother about the thing that had triggered our jealousy. If you time and time again behave in this way, then don't be discouraged: you are not the only person in the world who has such a problem. Many other people worldwide act in the similar way when they are jealous. Indeed, to admit that we have jealousy problem is not easy.

But, no matter how common it is, hiding jealousy from our partner will not help us in any way. If we hide our jealousy, our partner may never know it and may do the thing that triggers our jealousy over and over again.

Refusing to talk about it and acting as if it were not a big deal will not bring anything good to you except more distresses. It will only hurt you more and, trust me, if that happens again and again, one day your fire of jealousy will grow so much bigger until you are consumed by it.

If that jealousy has turned into the dreaded green-eyed monster, you will start acting and behaving very annoyingly. At this point, dealing with your jealousy will not be easy anymore. Therefore, you have to tell your partner about your jealousy problem as early as possible so that he/she can find a way to help you to curb it - before it becomes too strong to deal with.

3. Learn to think positive.

An overly-jealous person tends to take the worst spins on everything that occurs between her and her partner. That's what makes jealousy so damaging. Indeed, it is this characteristic that often makes what the jealous person fears the most comes into reality.

No one likes it to be questioned and/or interrogated every time he gets home after work, for example. An overly-jealous wife may question her husband over every details he did during the office hours: who he met, where he has lunch, with whom etc etc... not to mention the privacy breach tendency that overly-jealous person normally has such as reading her partner's emails or checking her partner's wallet.

Therefore, you need to learn and discipline yourself to not taking the worst spin on everything that takes place between you and your partner. Realize that in everyday lives, many things can happen and they are not all bad. Good and honorable things happen as well as the bad ones.

4. Learn to trust

Without trust, no relationship will bring happiness. The purpose of every relationship should be to enhance the quality of lives of those involved in it. Lack of trust will seriously incapacitate every relationship and undervalue its meaning significantly. If you can not show trust to your partner, soon enough you will find that he/she no longer thinks his/her relationship with you as precious as before and he/she might choose to split and end the relationship instead.

Those are the steps you need to do in order to deal with your jealousy. Deal with your jealousy today before it becomes too hard to deal with!



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