I read a book when I was in college that was written over two thousand years ago. It suggested that to get over a broken heart you think on all the bad things bad attributes your lost mate had. It was a little over the top exaggerating. It suggested you imagine, for example, the bad body odor of your missing mate. No doubt, if you would do this well enough you could convince yourself you are better off single. People have been getting over broken hearts and disappointments since the world began. You can do it too. No matter how awful you feel now you will not feel this way forever. It's just a feeling and feelings change.
Things You Will NeedYou will need time. You will need friends. Don't isolate yourself. If you don't have any nice friends, make some new ones. Learn a new hobby or join a new club. Having something different to think about is easier than trying to NOT think about what you have lost. Take up a side job if you can find one. Making more money while you are depressed takes the sting off of being alone. Stay away from family members or close friends who sabotage you. Misery loves company. Some well meaning people can't resist kicking you while you're down. You know who they are, the people who were jealous of you when you were together. Get rid of them. Take my advice, rip their names right out of your phone book.
Step 1If you don't have a friend you can trust get a dog to take nice long walks with. Dogs are more loyal than people. They listen well, and they love eagerly. If you don't want the investment of a 10 to 15 year companion, borrow a friend's dog. Most people are more than happy to find someone to exercise their mutt. If you can't find a dog, borrow a child. Take a neighbor's kid or a niece or nephew out for some fun. Doing something kind for a child will brighten your day and take your mind off of your heartache. Plus it will keep you from telling your "story." Kids don't care for drama. Trust me, they don't want to hear it.
Step 2Take the trouble to look your best. When you dress up you feel better about yourself. Plus what an bonus when you walk past that ex-lover on the street, any one would do, and you hear them mutter under their breath how they were a fool to let you go.
Step 3If you belong to a 12-step group consider finding one out of the area to attend until you've pulled yourself together. Feel free to "let it rip" at your anonymous group. It feels good to let it all hang out in a safe environment. You'll get over your pain faster if you feel it rather than attempting to stuff it.
If you attended a church together with your mate consider finding a new church. Meeting new people is fun, and they don't need to know you just got divorced. Plus it's a project, finding a new church. Projects take your mind off of the heartache at hand. Imagine you are "interviewing" the church based on your needs. It feels good to be in control of something in your life.
Step 4Feed yourself well. Few things afford the instant gratification of good food. I'm not saying you eat unhealthy, just that you eat comforting foods. Be kind to yourself. Buying the best coffee or tea you can afford will put less of a dent in your budget than splurging on a new tattoo or flying off to Vegas.
I heard it once on Oprah, so it must be true. She said the average time it takes for a person to get over a divorce is two years. That's average. Meaning some people are faster, and some slower, but don't beat yourself up if it hasn't even been a year and your friends are telling you to "get out more." May be your just not ready yet.
Tips & WarningsBeware of people telling you you are "in denial." The trouble with this admonishment is that there is no discernible difference between being "in denial" and not being in denial. Let me explain, your friend tells you your hair is green. Glancing in the mirror you see your regular brunette mop atop your head, so you reply "No it's not green." Smiling a sweetly knowing smile your friend says in a sing song voice, "Oh you're in denial!"
"No I'm not," you insist. And so on. There's no convincing some people of something. Only you know what's in your heart. If you think you need more time before moving on, you need more time. Don't let anyone bully you.