Moody teenagers are mostly derived from a lethal combination of computer and peer pressure. Most teenagers today spend hours on the internet, constantly bombarded by the media with high expectations of bodily image. Girls in particular care a lot about how they look in terms of weight, for example.
So where do you go from here? How do you deal with moody teenagers?
Here are a few examples with both good and bad ways to deal with a moody teenager!
1) If they ever communicate, it is with short, rude grunts.
A bad reaction: To immediately fly off the handle and confront your teenager face to face.
A good reaction:
This is very intrusive and disturbing in the eyes of a moody teenager, so as a parent, make sure to consider things from their angle and decide on a more positive approach. Do not expect miracles to work over night, it may take a while before your teenager becomes attuned to a positive approach and respond back equally.
2) Does your teenager make rude gestures at you?
A bad reaction: To give a rude gesture right back at them, or to try to punish them by taking away things irrationally.
A good reaction: Is probably best not to react at all. Teenagers will quickly learn that if they can make you mad easily, YOU as parents can be made as the 'bad guys'. However, if you don't respond at all, they will realize their efforts in being rude are energy consuming and tiring. Do not ignore them in such a way that you seem 'rude' or 'on purpose'. Simply make your upset feelings clear to him in one single sentence and move on briskly to other matters, such as making dinner. For example, swiftly ask him whether he'd prefer mash or roast potato's for dinner. This may take a week or two to sink in with most moody teenagers, but may not work for all of them! If it doesn't work, it is possible that they are getting their bad attitude from an outside source.
3) Your teenager is violent and moody
A bad reaction: Is to return the violence with more force or do anything to agitate them further.
A good reaction: Is to immediately distance yourself from them. Chances are, their problems are not related to you. In such cases, as parents, you should give them some 'alone time' to solve their own problems. If you believe that the source is from within the family, then you should consider family counselling to protect the whole family.
If the case is so serious that it requires police attention, then don't hold back. Call the police immediately and sort out the situation, before any one else gets hurt. Remember, it is not only you as a mother or father at risk of teenage violence, but also your community. Also remember that you should be doing this out of love for your son or daughter. Your greatest gift to them is to put them on the right path to happiness.
4) Your teenager locks you out and stays in their room all day
A bad reaction: Is to remove their doors or locks and tell them they have no more privacy in your h
A good reaction: You should 'habituate' your teenager by setting some BASIC FAMILY FUNCTIONS. Many families neglect to stick to basic family routines due to how society works nowadays. It is extremely healthy for kids to know when Dinner comes, for instance. It sets a routine in their life. As a mother or father, you can help set these routines by making your teenagers join you at the table together for dinner at more-or-less the same time every day. If your teenager goes out with friends in the evening, do not make a big deal out of it and let them go. They will eventually return and settle into the routine if you keep it up! Expect things to begin to change within 2 weeks, but allow for longer periods of time depending on how moody your teenager is.
5) Your teenager goes out every night and comes home late
A bad reaction: Is to ban them from going out, remove pocket money or scold them for more than 30 minutes when they come home.
A good reaction: You should tell your son or daughter to keep their mobiles with them at all times just in case they need to contact you. You should constantly reassure them that no matter what they do, drugs, sex, party - they will always have someone to rely on. That is YOU, the parents! Your parental job is to be their for your child, son, daughter etc... The more you can offer your support, the more likely they will open up to you. This is not an overnight procedure and takes more than a month to cultivate if you are serious about improving your relationship!
But take Note....
These techniques may not work for every teenager, so do not expect miracles to happen. It can sometimes take weeks for any effects to become visible, and from then on, it requires consistent positive effort to keep it up.
However these tips have always worked between myself and my mum and dad. Hopefully you can apply them to your teenagers too, and remember, they will eventually grow up and change. Sometimes it is better to just do your best to inform them of good choices and forgive their accidents.