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How to stop yourself from punching someone square in the face

By Edited Nov 13, 2013 4 8

How do I hate you? Let me count the ways!

There are many many people that you will meet in life that you simply want to punch square in the face. Maybe you never ever get riled up enough to have this emotion, but boy are you the lucky few. So many people are told that they need anger management, guess who by? By the very individuals that make you want to retract that arm and push hard, also called a punch! 

Because punching people is not always allowed!

Most of us know that it is unfortunately illegal to punch annoying people, but it is still fun to contemplate the idea. So let us take a look at the kind of people we would really love to punch square in the face.

Jeremy Kyle

This abusive horrid man is the British version of Jerry Springer, he is a pompous ass that pertains to hate social sites such as Facebook and regularly shouts in the faces of the British public that take part in his shows, yet he himself has been alleged to mistreat his wife. Irony or hypocrisy, probably both. The irony is also in the fact that most of his guests are the very council estate chavvy British people that he hates the most, as are his fans. Not many men can gain thousands of fans whilst telling them so honestly he hates them. He regales that people should be more considerate, whilst throwing quips at them. He bear bates them in to play and then stands behind his bodyguards. He must be one of Britain's top ten most hated men in Britain.


The only reason people watch the Jeremy Kyle show is the fools that place themselves on that show make them feel better about themselves. Boosting self ego by revelling in the abhorrent behaviour of others is less than commendable. Jeremy Kyle actually makes a living out of being condescending and judgemental. For this reason I would love to punch him square in the face.

I could quite easily punch most of his fans too, fat and lazy spongers that watch other fat lazy spongers of society on the tv!

David Cameron, British Prime Minister

One of these destroyed the British Isles. The other is trying very hard to follow in her footsteps.

The smiling assasin, our lovely British Prime minister David Cameron

This man lied his way in to a British Government position that is meant to be given through election of the British people. He did not win the British Prime Ministerial position, but took it anyway. Most of the British people are still awaiting a re-election.

He sold out to most of the British public, even visiting a woman with a severely disabled child and promising her the world, suddenly he forgot those promises when he decimated Council care homes.

He is the cat that got the cream with his over smile, he is no more than a spin doctor in the PR world. He holds no interest in the people of the UK. So I would happily punch him square in the face, if it were legal of course. I would have to queue in line first if it were ever legal.

Kim Kardashian and all the other day glow orange bimbos

These kind of girls seem to be taking over the planet. Why oh why is it deemed acceptable to have the ultimate goal of being noticed by thousands of people to be an accomplishment of large proportion?

Whatever the desire, it has spread to the lower classes of society and people on income support are seen having orange spray tans and acrylic nails, I mean, does it matter if your kids are malnourished? You don't want them to get fat anyway, if they are going to look hot later in life, right? *rolls eyes*. There really is nothing dafter than walking around Britain, where the mass of it's population is so white you can see their veins, and suddenly walking around seeing people who look like they have liver failure and are tango orange. Whatever happened to wanting to becoming educated and bringing in a good income for your families future?

I truly could punch these people square in the face, as they have reversed the effects of the the suffragette movement over a century ago. Women's vote, who needs that when you have fake breasts and a tango orange tan?

As a mother of three girls, I reel at the idea that my children would even dare to join the league of orange bimbos. Hopefully I have placed enough dignity and self worth in my girls that they actually wish to accomplish something that takes brain power.

People who carry on using their cell phones whilst engaged in conversation

Sorry but I am only in my early 30s, certainly no dinosaur, yet when I am talking with someone, I expect them to participate in the etiquette of conversation. Okay, so the etiquette laws of conversation were unspoken rules, long before cell phones even existed, but as human beings there are just certain things that need no explaining. They are imbedded in our genes. It seemed to have omitted a large amount of the British people under 25 years old however. I just can't help but let my temper come up when people do this to me, it makes me feel so....


Sometimes people make me hate cell phones

is this something that people of all nations are starting to do, or is it that British people are becoming rude?


I hate hate hate these people with a passion. Which kind of makes me a hypocrite, as I use to be one..hehe. I never said I hate making the cold calls, just hate being on the end of them. It has become a housewife or husbands ultimate skill to know when someone is a cold caller, or even worse, a scam caller. Firstly they never know your name, they just ask if they can speak to the owner of the home. They mostly have a foreign accent that is usually in incoherent English, they are also rude with this.

They also once had the audacity to call me back and ask why I had hung up on them!

Cold callers seem to have the nack of calling you right when you are on the toilet, are changing the baby's nappy or have your hands plunged in to a sink of dirty dishes and soapy water.

I am on the Telephone preference service but that means squat in todays society.

Cold callers can also be door knockers, I just let them knock whether they can see me or not. I have a sign on my window telling them to bog off, so if they can't read that, I don't trust to buy anything they are selling!

There are probably many more people yourself and I would love to punch in the face. Feel free to explain what kind of people make you feel that way, in a comment.So, how do you stop yourself from punching someone square in the face? You don't! Just don't get caught doing it hey?



Feb 6, 2012 2:11am
Ummm -- you guys gave us Jerry Springer (he was born in England!)

I guess maybe I'm a bad influence, but smack away!!

I (surprisingly) LIKE Kim Kardashian, but for two things -- she really doesn't do anything, and she definitely has too much junk in the trunk (such a thing as TOO much, ya know!). But I do think she's very pretty.
Feb 6, 2012 2:47am
She is very pretty Vic, but Kim Kardashian doesn't do much for feminism! She is your typical, " stand their and take your clothes off hunny" kind of girl. Guess momma told her she is sat on a gold mine, literally!
Feb 6, 2012 2:29am
This is a daily battle for me, which is why I tend to stick around the house for the most part. My Scottish temper tends to get the better of me sometimes.
Feb 6, 2012 2:48am
Hehe, see tis the old Pict/Celt temper that is shared by many. Suffer fools...not likely!!
Feb 6, 2012 5:02pm
I LAUGHED like crazy reading this! I avoid punching rude and annoying people in the face by engaging in martial arts where you can punch as many people as you want all within a warm and safe environment. :)
Feb 7, 2012 1:13am
Haha I am glad you picked up on the cheeky humour of this article. Martial arts is great for exercise and removing frustration. Thank you for stopping by and commenting on my article.
Feb 11, 2012 5:19pm
I'd have to agree with all these mentioned in your article and glad they're far enough away that I don't risk punching them square in the face! Bet you feel better writing about it, Cheers!
Feb 12, 2012 8:23am
Certainly do, it is always great to vent. It is healthy therapy if you can do it and then get over it I feel.
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