The Journal of Psychology published in 2009 titled, "Effect of Humor on Mate Selection and Interpersonal Attraction" is a study that investigated the effect of different levels of humor on attractiveness and desirability as a long-term partner. Is the attraction influenced by it? The study was conducted by Elizabeth McGee of the University of California and Mark Shevlin of the University of Ulster. The results showed that the targets with a good sense of humor received significantly higher ratings of attractiveness and suitability than those with only an average or no sense of it. Not surprising, isn't it?
In my opinion, there is no need of such studies as "The Humor and Attraction Study" is commonly known to arrive at such an obvious conclusion. Anyway, as I suppose, we all agree that humor is important, so let's look at it closely and establish exactly how we can model it so that we qualify ourselves as more seductive. The attraction that we show towards others is measurable - and I think a simple measure is in the number of friends we have. Look at this and if it is not as big as you want it to be, then go read further and study what you can do to improve your attractiveness by improving your sense of humor.
Before I go further, here is a famous quote of a celebrity actor:
"Best spontaneous speech that I ever held took me three weeks of preparation."
Besides making yourself entertained, that quote reveals an important fact related to humor, in which it is "premeditated" by those who practice it consistently and that the element of spontaneity usually associated with humor is a myth, a mirage specially created to enhance the humor impact. The more "spontaneous" it is, the more it becomes valuable, but did you ever ask yourself why the actors have so perfect replicas in the movies, and we lose ourselves in our everyday life, not knowing what to say in a lot of situations? How many times did we write or revise the scenario of our own life? Are we professionals or amateurs in our own lives? The scenarios of memorable and good movies are certainly written by professionals.
Let's see which would be the important and defining aspects of sense of humor, or in other words, let's hear what we have to say about comedians who made their profession their full-time job. Can we feel what animates and motivates them to do so?
First of all, on the level of identity, they know that they are individuals who posses a very good sense of humor and are able to make others laugh and feel good. And they certainly highly appreciate humor as a value and as such, they endeavor to bring it into theirs lives as often as they can. Some of the beliefs of such individuals are the following:
- "The sense of humor is important; it is a resource par excellence."
- "Its benefits are numerous and valuable."
- "It's a strong binder for relationships."
- "By sharing, you feel fully alive, you are totally present and you also give or offer something to others."
- "The sense of humor opens your doors and provides opportunities."
- "Friends who have sense of humor are precious and deserve being kept."
- "To control the external events of life is difficult and often impossible, but how you look at them, your personal perspective on them is totally yours, and that the detached, humorous and playful approach is the most advantageous in all aspects."
So, what are they doing to keep other people happy at all times? Here's what I discovered:
- They are constantly focusing on the fun aspects of life and develop a kind of radar for giving them emphasis by using all systems of representation such as mimicry, gestures, association, suggestions, imitation, suggesting auditory representations, etc...
- They tend to always keep the most beneficial physiology -- always smiling, cordial, and relaxed. And in order to keep your physiology this way for a long time period, you have to feel the same inside. So these people include in their habits as many things as possible to make them and others happy, and that helps them to keep a permanent smile outside and from within. Some minor healthy habits that can help you follow their examples are: make compliments, tell your loved ones that you love them, kiss your partner often, and choose to cultivate relationships preferably with pleasant people.
- They form the habit to accumulate humorous material in an organized manner so that they can memorize and interpret jokes / poems / more elaborate stories (like "One Man Show"). They study the mechanisms of humor production. For example, the use of the 3 digits in jokes such as - three different nationalities or religions or situations is not at all accidental; it is a conclusion of "studies" that says that 3 is a figure that has the greatest impact in creating humor. Not two, not four or more. There are also other language techniques (use of vocals, of the right rhythm and exact time of suspense, fail to erase on own jokes) that they practice for the moment, thus learning how to perform at their best based on the feedback they receive.
- They pay attention to the feedback and they constantly improve and integrate based on it.
- They constantly keep a certain level of detachment, dissociation of life's events, refusing to get carried away, or letting you take the life too seriously. And because of this level of detachment that develops with your sense of humor, they arrive more often and more closely to meditation state. By chance, most authentic spiritual masters have a sense of humor that conquers you. Meditation and humor definitely have something in common. Osho said that when you laugh, you do not think of anything, and a session of laughter from the heart equals a veritable meditation session -- if you define meditation as the absence of thoughts.
Children laugh 400 times a day, while adults do an average of 15 times a day! Watch your children! Shape them! We all have sense of humor to a certain extent, which we manifest occasionally in certain (usually very familiar) contexts. It is up to us to find our own way and discover our original footprint of manifestation in this area. Humor is not a technique, but a way of life. "If you cannot laugh, you can not live!" says a proverb. Try a very simple technique. Ask yourself this question: "What is the funniest thing that happened to you today? This week? In your entire life?" Definitely you'll find something. And once you start smiling inside, good mood will be on its way.
After finding something funny in your life, feel free to share it by commenting below or just give your opinion on the subject.