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Humorous Beano Side Effects - But Not Really!

By Edited Nov 13, 2013 1 0

Fire in the hole!

Although there are several serious Beano side effects that some people encounter with its use, this article will go into a lighter direction by taking a look at some of the more inflated claims. It’s meant to make you laugh, as passing gas will often do, but it seems there is always a kernel of truth to even the most outrageous of stories. After reading some of the possibilities below, let’s hope it is a very small kernel.  

Why pick on Beano when there are so many other products for gas relief out there? Perhaps it’s in the name. Each time I hear it, I think of the rhyme about beans being the "magical fruit."  Besides, any company that can give a product such a cool name has to have a sense of humor, don’t they?

Getting rid of excess gas is a normal bodily function.  In fact, according to the Mayo Clinic, it can be as simple to cure as temporarily cutting back on fibrous foods to help relieve the buildup of gas in the colon, preventing flatulence[1].  It could also be that you're bloated[2].

It's in your diet

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I used to suffer from terrible gas. Then I cleaned up my diet, began eating natural, un-processed foods, and voila! I can breathe clean air again!

Beano strikes again!

dangerous gas sign
Although there are several serious Beano side effects that some people encounter with its use, this article will go into a lighter direction by taking a look at some of the more inflated claims. It’s meant to make you laugh, as passing gas will often do, but it seems there is always a kernel of truth to even the most outrageous of stories. After reading some of the opinions below, let’s hope it is a very small kernel.

Why pick on Beano when there are so many other products for gas relief out there? Perhaps it’s in the name. Each time I hear it, I think of the rhyme about beans being the "magical fruit."  Besides, any company that can give a product such a cool name has to have a sense of humor don’t they?

So without further ado, I give you some dubious testimonials about some very hilarious side effects.

Exaggerated, But Funny, Beano Side Effects

• I don’t know if I would call it a side effect, but I’ve found that Beano is perfect for constipation. That’s all I use it for.

• The awful stench is gone, but still no gas relief. At least I can entertain without stinking up the room, I guess.

• I used the drops on my two cats, Mousetrap and Tangerine. The product worked fine for Mousetrap, but Tangerine got a terrible case of explosive diarrhea. I had to clean up such a mess! 

• I was looking through one of my cooking magazines in the checkout line and ran across an ad for this product. It seemed like just the thing I needed, and as I looked up fate had decided to help me with the decision as I saw that the store was having a sale on it.

After reading the instructions I enthusiastically made a dinner date with a couple of my friends. Although I was feeling a little nervous while eating, I felt fairly confident that my disease would not make itself known as I had followed the instructions to the letter. About 45 minutes in, my self-confidence completely disappeared as I felt those evil gases looking for a way to escape. The urge came so quickly that I had no choice but to capitulate.

To my surprise there was no sound or smell that accompanied the release. Seconds later, to my shock, I realized that people were pointing at the visible grayish cloud that I had just expelled. I was completely embarrassed. I can’t say I am familiar with all Beano side effects, but one was enough for me. Trading in sound and smell for visible farts is not a trade I’m willing to make.

• In my opinion the side effects of Beano are well worth not being humiliated in front of a dinner crowd. The only “one time” adverse effect I experienced was that the toenail on my pinky toe fell off (this could have been a coincidence as it has not happened again). Of all the gas relief products I’ve tried, I’m most satisfied with this one.

• Anyone who has experienced stomach gas and bloating while at work knows how it can cripple you. I took some tablets before eating my six hotdogs in high hopes of avoiding such pain. Hours later I was doubled in agony. I had to induce flatulence on my own by getting down in the floor and rolling around. People thought I was crazy!

• I thought I had found a relief from gas but several unexpected Beano side effects has caused me to question this. The worst and most noticeable effect has been on my stool. Whenever I go to the bathroom I can hardly stand the smell; it’s a hundred times worse than it was. Just last week I nearly got in a fight at a public restroom. A guy was literally pounding on the stall door demanding a courtesy flush.

• Everything about my flatulence has gotten worse since taking this product. The duration, the scent and even the blowing power is considerably more. I nearly blew a vase onto my child the other week. I’ll have to childproof my bum if I keep using this stuff.

Gas And Bloating Is No Joking Matter, Is It?

In case you haven’t figured it out by now, the Beano side effects listed above are very outlandish compared to some of the actual side effects. This was on purpose with the intent of making you laugh, so don’t go to your doctor with a serious look on your face and relay any of the stories above.

I do hope that actual Beano users found this article funny and would love for them to leave comments. Thank you for your time and remember that passing gas is always a laughing matter (unless someone else does it).  :)

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• In my opinion the side effects of Beano are well worth not being humiliated in front of a dinner crowd. The only “one time” adverse effect I experienced was that the toenail on my pinky toe fell off (this could have been a coincidence as it has not happened again). Of all the gas relief products I’ve tried, I’m most satisfied with this one.

• Anyone who has experienced stomach gas and bloating while at work knows how it can cripple you. I took some tablets before eating my six hotdogs in high hopes of avoiding such pain. Hours later I was doubled in agony. I had to induce flatulence on my own by getting down in the floor and rolling around. People thought I was crazy!

• I thought I had found a relief from gas but several unexpected Beano side effects has caused me to question this. The worst and most noticeable effect has been on my stool. Whenever I go to the bathroom I can hardly stand the smell; it’s a hundred times worse than it was. Just last week I nearly got in a fight at a public restroom. A guy was literally pounding on the stall door demanding a courtesy flush.

• Everything about my flatulence has gotten worse since taking this product. The duration, the scent and even the blowing power is considerably more. I nearly blew a vase onto my child the other week. I’ll have to nail down my wife's home decorations if I keep using this stuff.

Gas And Bloating Is No Joking Matter, Is It?

In case you haven’t figured it out by now, the Beano side effects listed above are very outlandish compared to some of the actual side effects. This was on purpose with the intent of making you laugh, so don’t go to your doctor with a serious look on your face and relay any of the stories above.

I do hope that actual Beano users found this article funny and would love for them to leave comments. Thank you for your time and remember that passing gas is always a laughing matter (unless someone else does it).  :)

Take care on your travels

Beano Home Away Combo Pack-120 Tabs +12 Portable Pack
Amazon Price: $27.66 $11.17 Buy Now
(price as of Jul 20, 2013)
I take some anti-gas with me everywhere I go. It always comes in handy.
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Bibliography

  1. Mayo Clinic Staff "Bloating, belching and intestinal gas: How to avoid them." Mayo Clinic. 9/04/2013 <Web >
  2. "What Causes Stomach Bloating." Bloated Belly Help. 9/04/2013 <Web >

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