Stand by Your Word
When discipline is concerned, it is important to be a man or woman of your word. It doesn’t matter whether it is good or bad behavior, the method is the same. Behaviour, and then consequence. When you are first trying to discipline a child it is important to act quickly, and make sure they know what you are talking about, and that it is important to you. This means getting eye contact, even if you have to really make an effort to move your head right in front of theirs. This is the backbone of first teachers strategy, second teacher doesn’t go to the degree to get eye contact for students.
At home, keeping your word can you following through with your threats. If your child is throwing tantrums at the supermarket, be ready going in that you are going to put your basket down, grab them, walk out and go home. It’s going to happen at some stage you may as well get it out-of-the-way early. If you don’t follow through, your threats become emptier and discounted by kids.
Role Models are Important
Being a person of your word goes hand in hand with being a good role model. Kids will watch what others around them are doing, especially adults, and model their behavior that way. This can work with you or against you, so being a good role model is important.
It also helps you see if what you’re asking from your children is reasonable. Is it reasonable for the kids to come straight in after school and do 2 hours homework a night? Well, do you come home from work, walk straight into your study or bedroom and do 2 hours of work per night? If you don’t and you tell your kids to, they see that you’re alright and you don’t do it so they don’t have to do it either. First teacher does not ask anything that is not reasonable, if a child can’t read then they are not asked to do a task that involves reading; they are given a task to find letters.
Any punishments also have to be reasonable to the child and the task. If your child is throwing tantrums in the supermarket, then not buying anything and coming home is reasonable. Not feeding the child for a period is too harsh, especially if you are eating.
After a child has experienced a punishment and displays better behavior, it is a great idea to give them some positive feedback and more responsibilities or privileges. This shows kids that their direct actions affect how they get treated, for good or bad. Don’t be afraid to take away these privileges either if the child starts taking it for granted, your strictness will be pivotal in the behavior of the child.
Let the Kids Fail Once in a While
Second teacher also lets the students fail. Letting them fail is one of the greatest discipline tools you can use. Kids and people in general can start to feel like they are invincible and awesome at everything, until they get beaten or fail. Unfortunately some parents and teachers don’t like their kids to fail, which does deprive children. They want their kids to be the best which is understandable, but it strips parents and teachers of this great learning method.
Let me put it like this, school and youth is for mistakes. You don’t want to make the mistakes that a 15-year-old makes when your 30. It would be highly embarrassing getting your mates to cut your hair the day before your wedding, instead of when your 15. Kids are inquisitive so let them explore, and let them find out what works and what doesn’t.
No matter what your situation, discipline is an important aspect in the lives of children. It can get overlooked in favour of more modern aspects of education but is still a stalwart of education in the new millennium.
Thanks for reading.
If you have any tips or stories about imparting discipline, please share them in the comments.
Link to Part 1
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