Learning how to improve yourself through affirmations and positive reinforcement may be a lot easier than you think. You may be nervous at the thought of changing life long behaviors, insecurities, or any other character flaw that causes you pain, and that's understandable. You may have tried and tried, and nothing seems to work. More often than not, we are trying to confront something from the wrong side. We, as human beings, try to deny ourselves the emotions that we truly feel; thinking somehow we can force ourselves to have a different outlook.
Although it's possible to train ourselves to experience a change in perception, it will not happen by sheer force of will. That is where positive reinforcement comes into play. Now, you may be thinking about the cliché of affirmations; and whether you have a positive, negative, or neutral outlook on them, you can rest assured that we are not only referring to repetitive acknowledgment of positive things about ourselves. More vastly, we are talking about a phenomena that has the potential to positively impact every aspect of your life.
Accepting the reality of your emotions is not the same as affirming them. Although anger is primarily based on fear, it is – in many cases – an emotion all of its own. Anger is an emotion that we are taught not to feel, and that is exactly where we go wrong in every other one of our affairs. In learning that we just shouldn't feel anger, we failed to learn how to appropriately deal with it when it arises. It is as acceptable to feel angry, sad, or depressed as it is to feel elation or gratitude. You are able to accept your feeling and then choose to return to a state of fact.
When you are at a point where you have accepted that this is you feeling right now at this very second, you have taken all of your own resistance out of the picture. Although you can do nothing to change the way your emotions are swayed by any given circumstance, you have complete control over your reaction to every situation. By having admitted, “This makes me angry,” you have taken the first step to improve yourself, and you are able to look at the reality of a situation much more clearly.
There is a completion to the aforementioned sentence, “This makes me angry,” and it is an introduction to a very powerful replacement of one tiny word: Replace 'but' with 'and.' When you use the word 'but,' you are – in essence – invalidated the statement that came before it. You are diminishing the quality of that fact and lending more credibility to the thought that follows. This leads to a very negative frame of mind. Instead of a statement like: “This makes me angry, but I can't do anything about it,” replace it with, “This makes me angry, and I can make a choice on how I react.”
That one strength and confident statement can open doors in your own mind for your life that you never dreamed possible. There may be something you can do that will enhance the your life or the life of others. When you get into behavior changing practices to improve yourself, anything is possible.