When you work over forty hours a week with a boss who peeks over your shoulder, gripes about your performance every chance they get, and refuses to acknowledge your effort to be a good worker, it can be hard to think that there’s a peaceful way to change the situation.

1. Make a list of reasons why you love your job

At first, this may seem impossible, but once you start the reasons will flow. Start with noting it’s a steady source of income which allows you to buy necessities and fun things, perhaps you enjoy your coworkers, maybe your work location is close to your home, or possibly it’s far away so you can listen to music you like on the car ride in. Feeling grateful about your job is a huge step in the right direction towards feeling better about your boss.

2. Make a list of things your boss does well at work

Like the preceding exercise, this may seem impossible. Consider how aptly your boss notices details, or how committed they are to give their customer the best product and experience. As you begin to notice what your boss does skillfully, you may start to see that you, and your boss have the same goals.

3. Make a list of things you do well at work

If you don’t know what makes you a unique worker it may be hard for your boss to notice too. Take a moment to jot down a few things you do well, maybe you answer the phone on the first ring, make sure you are always on time to start your shift, or perhaps you found a way to make the workflow more efficient. When you take note of what you do correctly it will be easier to know what your boss says is fact or not true.

4. Ask your boss how you can make their job easier

Being the boss isn’t the easiest job and asking how them how you can make their job easier is an unexpected treat. When your boss understands you aren’t someone they always have to supervise or convince to follow the rules, it makes their lives simpler and your life too. More often than not, your boss won’t have anything extra for you to do, but you will start a mutually respectful work relationship, and that makes a better workplace.

5. Ask yourself how you can make your job easier

Give yourself an honest appraisal of your work performance, if you need a barometer look up your job description in your employee handbook. Your boss may have valid points about how you can improve in certain areas. If you consciously make an improvement, your boss won’t have to micro manage what you do and will often leave you to your own devices because they can trust that you will get your work done in a fast, accurate, and efficient manner.

You may notice that each step is a change you make to your thoughts, attitudes, and actions. It’s always easier to change our own patterns because trying to change anyone else is a losing battle. Taking a few moments to reflect is a small price to pay for a peaceful work environment.

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