Fake It 'Til You Make It
Short Term Ways to Boost Your Confidence
If you lack confidence in a certain situation, sometimes you just have to "fake it 'til you make it". While the suggestions below won't necessarily solve any long term self confidence issues, they will give you a short term boost of confidence that you may need to get through a difficult situation.
Start Working Out. I know that when I'm exercising, I feel much more confident about my body and the way I present myself even if nothing about me has undergone a physical change. On days when I'm feeling too lazy to go walking, I remind myself that I'll feel more confident if I just do it. That is usually enough to get me out the door. No use feeling badly about myself when I can just exercise that feeling away!
Compliment Others. You will feel happier and more self confident when you take your focus off of yourself. Further, people like other people who can see the good in others. Lastly, if that good thought about someone else pops into your head, don't hold yourself back just because you're self-conscious! Be generous with your compliments and you'll find people treating you better and you will feel better about yourself as well.
Give Yourself Motivational Speeches. You might see this in a TV show or a movie where a character gives himself a pep talk before going on a big date or before giving a speech. This really works. Even though it may feel a little hackneyed to do this, giving yourself a motivational speech, whether your looking into the bathroom mirror or not, is you giving yourself positive reinforcement. And you deserve it. Talk to yourself like you deserve good things and you will start to believe that you do (and act accordingly). That is the power of positive thinking that giving yourself a motivational speech can tap into.
Dress Well and Look Your Best. Before that moment for which you need self confidence, make sure you dress well and look your best. There is nothing worse than feeling like you don't look your best for that moment. You can spend a lot of time feeling less than spectacular if you think you don't look your ultimate best. Eliminate that kind of brain clutter by dressing for the occasion.
Walk with Confidence. Don't look down as you walk as this is a physical indication that you lack confidence. Also, this is one of those "fake it 'til you make it" tips. If you stand and walk like you're confident, then you will feel more confident. You will also appear more approachable to others.
Pay Special Attention to Your Posture. Not only does slouching or bad posture cause some discomfort but it makes you look sheepish and lacking in confidence. Even if you're busy faking it 'til you make it, you don't have to look like you just might feel a tiny bit like a fraud. If you look your best and you've filled your head with confident thoughts then make sure that is reflected in the way you hold your body.
Put Yourself in the Front Row of Events. This shows that you are willing to be an active listener, contributor or participant on that occasion.
In Groups, Speak up and Assert Yourself. If you have a question, ask it. It's likely that others in the group have the same question and that you're helping them by speaking up. If you have an insight about the group's focus, add that to the discussion as well as it may clarify others' thoughts as well.
Focus on Helping Others. In a difficult situation, whether you're giving a speech or meeting others for the first time (and these are just a few examples of times when one might lack confidence), think about how you're helping others. Not only will this line of thought distract you from thinking about yourself but it also connects you to other people.
Pay Attention to the Things You are Grateful for. As I've mentioned before, keeping a gratitude journal or finding some other way to remind yourself of all the things you have rather than the things you don't is a boost to the psyche. You're less likely to be hard on yourself when you acknowledge how full of abundance your life is.
In case it isn't obvious, I'm not a life coach or mental health specialist. I'm just a mom who sometimes has a few issues of her own. For long term support in dealing with confidence issues, I recommend you work with a professional or, at the very least, sit down and work on yourself keeping in mind that no quick fix will solve problems that took a lifetime to develop. The tips above can offer a shot in the arm of confidence about yourself until you have a chance to work on your core issues.