You think you are in love. The fireworks are bursting, doves are flying, and romantic music is playing every time you see, kiss, and embrace your significant other. And you think to yourself, "This is the one."
Are you sure?
Well, have you talked about marriage with your partner? Your hopes, dreams, and realistic goals? Here are the Top 10 key signs to see if you're ready to get down on one knee, pop the question, or say "I Do."
10. Not A Pregnancy Test
Make sure that a pregnancy test is not the Number 1 factor for your marriage. If the two are closely related, then the people most closest to you will figure it out. Some people are okay with that or don't care either way, but as a matter of principle, make sure that you do what makes you happy. A positive pregnancy test should be just that and not a prelude to a marriage proposal.
It's in our nature to be safe and secure in our environment. If the one you are with does not make you feel at ease, then they are not for you. Aggressiveness and Power do not go well in a well balanced relationship of any kind. This includes your friends and coworkers.
On the flip side of this coin, if you find yourself on a darkened street corner in the middle of the night (why are on a darkened street corner in the middle of the night anyway?) with your significant other and you if think that your life is in danger if you were to be attacked, then you need to reevaluate your relationship and where its going. Definitely not a darkened street corner.
How many credits cards do you have? How about your partner?
How much debt do you have? How about your partner?
Does it bother you that you make more than them? That they make more than you? Would you be okay with one joint account or would you prefer separate accounts?
These are the questions you need to be asking yourself and your partner throughout your relationship, especially if there's a future. Financial struggles account for more than half of the divorces in the United States. You need to be in agreement on major issues when it comes to finances including, how much to spend and save. Usually, this can be solved with a budget. It helps you discuss and come to an agreement with your partner on the minute details that should not be blown out of proportion when dealing with finances. "You spend too much," isn't going to get you anywhere.
7. Communication Is Key
"Never go to bed angry at each other."
Easier said than done, but that piece of advice drives in a deeper issue. How long does it take for you and your partner to get over an argument? If it's an hour, you're good. If it's 24 hours, ehhh not so much. It goes deeper than the silent treatment, its deeper than not loving each other. It's about pride. Pride has no reason being in a relationship, it is a poison that will rotten any relationship down to its core and tear it apart. One of you has to come out and say it, "I was wrong, you were right."
Don't get me wrong, it goes both ways. You'r partner needs to open up with the mistakes they make as well. That's why communication is key. Remember that marriage is two people becoming one, not two people fighting and one is left standing, that's "Survivor."
6. Deal Breakers
These are the questions you should ask as soon as you know they might be the one. Where do you want to live? What are your goals and dreams? How many children do you want?
If they want to live in California and you want to live in New York, there's a problem.
If they want to travel the world and you want to start a business, there's a problem.
If you want two or three children, but they don't want kids, there's a problem.
Make sure that these details are hashed out as soon as possible before you continue wasting your time.
5. Till Death
Take a moment right now and imagine your partner old, wrinkly, with missing teeth and they smell. This might be the last image you see before you die.
Stop reading and take this moment right now and imagine your partner old, wrinkly, with missing teeth and they smell. This might be the last image you see before you die.
Let that sink in. Let it sink in a little deeper.
If you have not let that sink into your mind, then you are not ready for marriage, and that's okay.
4. Would You Die For This Person?
You hear it in love songs, you see it in the movies and its a question that better be a yes. If you will not die for this person, what will you give up to the person that completes you? What sacrifices will you make in the relationship? If you're thinking "I can eventually find someone else," then you are not ready for marriage.
3. 100% Sure
You have to be 100% sure about this life-changing decision. You cannot be 82% sure. You cannot be 95% sure. You need to be 100% sure that you are ready to make a lifelong commitment to this person through thick and thin. You cannot have any doubt in your mind. And if you're only 99.9% sure, I'm sure you can find that last bit of confidence somewhere.
2. Can't Imagine Life Without Them
Do you still think that the relationship you had with your ex could work out if you gave it another chance? Do you think if you and that friend of yours were to date, you would have hit it off?
The last thing on Earth you want is to think about these theoretical situations with that ring on your finger. It will eat you alive. Try to think about your life without your partner. Are you happy? Will you feel okay with what you have? Would you feel any less than what you are feeling now with your partner? If you're answers are yes, yes, and no, then marriage isn't for you.
There is the occasional person that catches your eye. There might be the occasional acquaintance/coworker that you feel you have a better connection with than anyone (other than your partner of course). There even might be one moment in your life that you will be tempted to go farther with one person than you would have ever dreamed of. There are savages, I mean there are people out there who only go after married people.
There are places on the internet dedicated to make sure that if you wanted to be unfaithful to your spouse, it would not be difficult. As of 2014, Ashley Madison has over 25 million members according to its website. That is a scary number and a figure that should not be a part of. Cheating is inexcusable and unforgivable. Be faithful to your partner.
Disclaimer: I am not a marriage nor couples counselor. The ideas presented in this article are of my opinion.
Amazon Price: $15.95 $8.80 Buy Now
(price as of Apr 23, 2014)