Speed Dating

Everywhere around the country you are beginning to see speed dating events. If you are single and have not yet tried one of these events you may be wondering if they are right for you or if you should look at other ways of meeting people. Speed dating has advantages and disadvantages that you should consider before you decide if it is for you, but the reality is that it does not hurt to try it. The first thing that you should know is what one of these events is, and how it can help you.

What It Is

A speed dating event is a gathering of a pre-determined amount of singles in one comfortable setting where they can meet each other through a brief introduction. The introduction usually works by allowing the attendees to talk to one another for a short time which usually ranges between one and five minutes. The time is an ice breaker and once the time is up you move on to the next person until you have spoken to several different people in a time period established by the organizers. At the end of the event there will be a way to know who wants to know more about you and you will privately tell who you are looking to meet in the future. People can then decide if they want to talk to a person after meeting them there.

Does It Work?

You may have some doubts about the effectiveness of speed dating because even if you were to get the 5 minutes max to talk to the other person, that really does not seem like enough time to get to know them. A person that is looking at each one of the people they talk to as a date will not have much success; if the you see the event as an icebreaker and so does the person you are interested in, then this type of event is perfect for them. When there is a mutual attraction you could choose to see that person in the future. People will know who is interested in them, so you could make a match with someone you did not consider or whom may have not seen you in the right light.


There are a few advantages to speed-dating. First of all you are meeting several singles at the same event. The people attending are looking to meet someone and that means that they are available. Because you are talking to each one of them you have several opportunities in one night to make a first impression. Usually the number of people who attend is an even number of men and women. Another advantage is that you get to know if you clicked with someone you talked to and finally the fear of rejection is greatly reduced because there is no pressure to get a date afterwards.


There are only a couple of disadvantages to this type of dating. The first disadvantage is that you will only have a short time to meet and talk to people, but that short time is more than you need to get someone interested in you. There is also the problem that you are not the only one there, so you should expect to have a lot of competition. The person that you want to meet will also be meeting 10 or more people in the same night just like you will. 

How To Succeed

You will notice that while at first it is intimidating to go to a place like this you will feel a lot better once you talk to the first couple of people. After that you will see that there really is not much to fear there. Have a couple of questions in the back of your mind to get the conversation going if you get stuck. Ask positive open questions such as his/her favorite vacation spot and why it is a favorite. Best food that they ever had is also a great question. The reason those are great things to ask is that they take the person to a “happy place” which they will associate with you. Feel free to come up with your own questions, but make sure that they are open and upbeat.

You should also make sure that you dress the part. That does not mean wear a suit and a tie or your best dress, but you should also not show up wearing your favorite foot ball team’s jersey and with your hair looking like a mess. Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and nothing that will make you sweat. Do not brag about how great you are because great people do not need to do so; plus you are likely to bore the other person if you only talk about yourself. Finally make sure that you smile and that you make the right eye contact; too much eye contact can feel a bit creepy while too little can make you seem disconnected. Even if you do not get a date out of it, you can use your speed date experience as practice for talking to people. Relax and enjoy the night and chances are that you will meet someone you want to see again at a speed dating event.