Is the zombie virus real? Well that's the million dollar question now isn't it? We've all seen the movies and weather the zombie apocalypse comes from the urban dead or a viral pandemic like in Resident Evil you can't help but wonder deep back in the recesses of your mind if it justâ€¦ mightâ€¦ be possible.
Either way, possible â€“ not possible. Real, not real. The question you should be asking yourself is, can you afford NOT to prepare??? Every good Boy Scout (and Girl Scout!) knows the motto, "Be Prepared". It exists for a reason and yes, one of the reasons just might be if the zombie virus is real and you have a real life zombie apocalypse on your hands! Let's face it, we all know we're one step away from a scientist gone mad or some freaky biological warfare gone awry.
It's hard to think when flesh eating monsters are breaking down the doors and crawling in through the windows so we're going to follow the KISS method here (keep it simple silly!). The less we have to think about when dispatching zombified neighbors the better off we'll be.
With this survival concept in mind, it won't matter if the zombie virus is real or a figment of your imagination â€“ you'll be prepared! So the only two things you really have to remember are these: The Right Supplies (your Zombie Survival Kit if you will) and How to Kill a Zombie For Good (seeing how they're technically already deadâ€¦ but, I digress). If you know these, you'll learn the rest as you go along.
Your Zombie Survival Kit: The Right Supplies â€“ Once you've finally accepted that the zombie virus is real, the urban dead have risen and they would like you to give them, "just a nibble" you'll realize quickly you simply won't get far without supplies.
So what sort of supplies does one need to survive the zombie virus and whether a zombie apocalypse? It's not all that different from a standard emergency kit actually so if you have one of those already, you're ahead of the pack â€“ good for you (you just might live long enough to pass your better than average gene's to the next generation).
For those of you that didn't, are still alive and lucky enough to be reading this guide â€“ you should start by gathering the following items:
- Water â€“ The human body can survive a long time without food (like weeks and in some cases months) so long as it has clean, sanitary water. You should have at least 1 gallon per day per person (if at all possible) and you should keep with you on your person at least 2-3 gallons when on the move.
- Water Purification â€“ Having access to clean potable water once the zombie virus has ruined everything may eventually become challenging (so long water taps!). If that's the case you'll have to be able to purify your own. Get iodine tablets, UV Lights, silver or some other water purification method and make sure it's in your supply bag. Remember â€“ a dehydrated survivor is about one step away from zombie chow.
- Food â€“ Sooner or later you'll need food, even if you're flush with water. Foods that are light and have a long shelf life are best here such as military MRE's (Meals Ready to Eat). They contain a solid calorie count, have an extended shelf life and are relatively light. If you don't have access to these the next best thing would be dried fruit, beef jerky, etc.
- Flashlight â€“ They have these out now with their own hand cranked generator, build in radio and siren. Perfect in case you're still wondering if the zombie virus is real. I'd avoid those that require standard batteries, these just never last and given zombies uncanny ability to sense living beings in the dark and our natural lack of ability to see in the darkâ€¦ I think you get the point. Flashlight is a must and one you can recharge is best.
- Whistle â€“ As you navigate the ravage and torn world of what once used to be your homeland, you're bound to find other survivors along the way. Generally speaking (though not always), when faced with the zombie apocalypse it's better to work together with the living.
If they're not good friends well, you can rest in peace knowing your fleshy sacrificial buffet helped them escape. Good for you! If Karma has anything to say about it your zombie virus infected brain will remember where they sleep at night and your first evening as a zombie will include a nice rack of ribs!
- Shelter â€“ This one's simple, plastic sheeting and duct tape will ensure you an insta-shelter that's (relatively) water proof where ever you go. Protection from the elements is important for a number of reasons. It would be a real shame to survive a real zombie virus and full blown zombie apocalypse only to die from exposure.
- Sanitation â€“ Wet wipes work best here, they are many to a container and they are small and light. They'll prevent infection and keep you from dying from something like a simple cut or scrape. With all the devastation from the zombie virus, these will most assuredly happen often.
- Basic Tools â€“ Can opener (self explanatory), screw drivers of varying type and some pliers â€“ perhaps even a small hammer as well as a small folding shovel. These are less for the obvious reasons, than for the multitude of zombie-pursuit, forage for food type situations I can't think of for which there will be many.
- Maps â€“ A compass and maps. How do you plan on going anywhere outside your home town if you don't have these? A must as getting out of the cities and into urban areas will significantly improve your survival chances.
How to Kill a Zombie (For Good) â€“ Most experts agree, whatever it is that animates or drives a zombie , a zombie must have a head in order to continue functioning. Mythology (history?) shows us that decapitating the zombie or causing enough trauma to the head is usually sufficient to put them down for good. If you get them down, the best way to be 100% sure they stay down is to separate the head from the body. Icky I know, but if you like living I highly suggest you get used to it.
The thing to remember when dispatching real zombie virus related zombies (as opposed to supernaturally animated zombies) is to not let them bite, cut or even scratch you as they may pass along to you the infection that made them part of the zombie apocalypse in the first place!
Tools of Survival â€“ Carrying some (or all) of these weapons around can be a real chore so you must choose your weapons based on circumstance (travel, home defense, etc.). Here are a few of the most common:
- Guns â€“ Guns are great for their immediate stopping power but this varies based on size, type, etc. Shots to the body seldom do anything more than push your zombie assailant back. Shots to the head are iffy unless they are at close range and do tons of damage (i.e. are large caliber), they may drop them cold, stun them or do nothing. The idea is to keep them off you, drop them and decapitate them.
- Fire â€“ Fire's tricky, more than one zombie apocalypse survivor has burnt themselves up in a building fighting viral zombie hordes with fire. It won't initially stop them per se, but as the fire damages the tissue beyond use it eventually will. Fire is great for cleaning an area of zombie goo and sanitizing it for future use as the virus cannot survive a blaze.
- Cutting Weapons â€“ Swords, machetes, chain saws, knives, etc. These weapons work great in close combat. Zombie reaches for you, lop off the hand/arm. Zombie leans in for a nibble â€“ off with his/her head! The nice thing about cutting weapons is once a body part is removed it's gone. Animated hands and feet that act on their own, that's just the stuff of movies. :P
Finally, after a long day of fighting zombies you may find your clothes are soaked in blood. It happens, we know - fighting zombies is messy. Sometimes it helps to maintain our sanity to take care of the little things so as an added bonus, here are a few tips for removing blood stains from clothes.
With this simple two page document every man, woman and
child has the information and tools necessary should the zombie virus be real
and a full scale zombie apocalypse be on our hands. You just never know and it always pays to be
prepared. Just think of it as a natural
disaster plan that has the added bonus of helping you survive the coming zombie
apocalypse. Happy hunting and good luck!