Can you imagine what your life would be like if you had all the confidence needed to succeed?
I bet it would be easier for you to achieve anything at school, professionally and personally. You could achieve your goals more easily, speak in public with confidence, meet new people, advance in your career and be happier with yourself.
I have never met anyone who wouldn’t like to have more confidence. Sometimes, we believe that people who are arrogant have too much confidence. But, in many cases, it’s quite the opposite since these people need to show off certain traits or abilities to hide what they lack in themselves.
In many cases, people lack confidence in themselves because of negative experiences during childhood, but also because at some point in our lives we begin to worry too much about what others think, while at the same time, we try to please others to feel loved and accepted. It is also common to feel inadequate or not good enough when we face a new challenge or a situation with which we are not familiar.
Below some tips to help you increase your confidence:
1.- Write a list of your skills, talents and abilities. It is always easy to think of everything we don’t like about ourselves, but I’m sure that if you ask your family and friends to help you write this list, it will be much easier to see those talents and skills that you couldn’t see before.
2.- Think of a pleasant, past experience in which you feel proud and confident. It can be personal, professional or even spiritual such as: getting an important job, graduating from college or university, getting something you always wanted, having made an important decision or having helped someone in need and feeling appreciated because of that.
3.- Identify what kinds of negative thoughts go through your mind about yourself. For example: if you are not sure of achieving a specific goal, ask yourself why you believe you can’t and what evidence you have to believe this. Be honest with yourself. Many of our limitations are only inside of our heads and they can be excuses to cover up laziness and lack of discipline.
4.- Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. It is always important to concentrate on our strengths and not our weaknesses. If you like, you can also write a list of what you believe your weaknesses are and what you can do to improve and develop skills and abilities that help you achieve your goals and feel more empowered. You should also get rid of the idea that people always look for the worst in you because it’s quite the opposite, most people want to see you succeed and be happy.
5.- Do breathing exercises and visualize your goal. It can be a work interview, passing an important exam, speaking in public, meeting someone special, etc. It is very important to imagine yourself in a specific situation feeling relaxed, calm, optimistic, really confident and sure of yourself. While you visualize, it is important to remember of all your strengths, skills and abilities. Do this several times.
If you have suffered from lack of confidence and/or self-esteem your whole life, or if this problem is preventing you from achieving your goals and being happy, it is important to seek professional help as soon as possible. You can also read books and use self-help programs that help you. If this problem persists, consider seeing a qualified specialist.
You deserve to be happy and enjoy life!