How badly do you need a job? If you are out of work like a lot of people during the financial crisis, you will know that the competition is high and you need to fight your way through. How many job interviews have you had and you get a feeling of déjà vu? Yes the same questions all over again. Have you noticed how you are asked stupid questions during job interviews? You know you need the job and they need an employee. You are all stressed because you want to make a good impression. You can also be stressed because you are desperate for a job. You put on your best formal outfit. You go through your CV to make sure you remember your name and date of birth. You want to make sure what you are going to say is actually in your CV. You have gone through countless job interview techniques just to get that job. Your mentors have said you've got good interpersonal skills and with your qualification, there is nothing stopping you from getting a good job. To make a long story short, you are prepared for the best and for the worst

You would think interviewing is a time consuming job and employers would know that. Most people who sit on the board of interviewers are not always prepared as you are. The questions asked during job interviews will help you get the picture.

Here is a list of most common questions asked during job interviews:

Job interviews: Why do you want this job?

Job interviews: What are your weaknesses and strengths?

Job interviews: Why should we hire you?

Job interviews: What is your salary expectation aka how much you like would to earn?

Job interviews: Are you qualified for this job?

Job interviews: Tell us about yourself.

With regards to these questions, you have the official answer that you know you should give. You also have answers in your head that should stay in there. Let us look at some of the answer to these questions and see why you should not tell the truth.

Job interviews: Why do you want this job?

  • Well I was bored and thought I should apply and see where that will take me.

  • I was told you needed help so I figure I should turn up to see how I can help.

  • I don't know why I want this job but my wife said I have got till months end before she leaves my sorry behind for my best friend.

  • I need the money badly otherwise I might lose my house.

  • I got fired for being always late at my previous job so I thought I should try my luck here

Job interviews: What are your weaknesses and strengths?

  • I don't have any because I believe only losers have weaknesses.

  • I love chocolates so much I can't get enough.

  • I love women and that has always been a weakness of mine.

  • My weaknesses are private and I don't see why I should divulge that to you. By the way, I find your question offensive.

  • My strength is car racing. I like to race other drivers at the traffic lights and I have never been beaten.

  • I am physically strong and my wife is always impressed.

  • I am so strong I always beat the living day light out of my wife and children. They respect me for that

  • I have weaknesses like everyone, I can down two bottles of beer simultaneously

Job interviews: Why should we hire you?

  • I have got a gun in my car and I know how to use it

  • I did a Google search and I know where you live and also know the school your daughter goes to

  • I guess you are desperately looking for someone and I am desperately looking for a job. We are a match made in heaven.

  • I don't know, that is for you to figure out

  • Because you have already wasted 2 hours of my life and the least you could do is give me the job.

  • It will be very charitable thing to do and God will bless you for it

  • You should hire me because Jesus loves me and died for me.

Job interviews: What is your salary expectations aka how much you would like to earn?

  • I thought you would never ask. Just give me an empty cheque and I will handle the rest

  • Anything with six figures will be fine thank you

  • I don't have a salary expectation but I hope to get paid. The last time I checked, my CV didn't say "will work for free"

  • I don't discuss my salary with strangers

Job interviews: Are you qualified for this job?

  • As soon as I get my first pay I will be more than qualified.

  • I have been qualified since the day I came out of my mother's womb.

  • I would refer you to my CV

  • Are you trying to imply that I faked my qualifications?

  • I am as qualified as George Bush was for the post of the President of the United States

  • No I am not. I just thought it would be nice to see if I could get the job.

  • The last time I checked my mother said I was, so I guess I am

  • Duh, stating the obvious

Job interviews: Tell us about yourself

  • I thought you asked me to send in my CV because you wanted to know about me. I take it know one bothered to read my CV.

  • It is a long story but my mother said I was a cute baby and I have always being special. I get on with all my neighbors and I like heavy or death metal and Christian gospel music.

  • I believe in Jesus and the Prophet Mohammed

  • I just got divorced from my third wife and I have 5 children with 8 different women.

These answers are a bit outrageous but the questions that are asked during job interviews are just as outrageous as these answers. Job interview is a serious step in getting a job. A job doesn't only mean money but it is also about survival. Families depend on it on a monthly basis to get by. The least interviewers could do is put more thought into the questions they ask. Why are the questions always so predictable and devoid of insight.