A relationship is a lot like a houseplant – if you don't water and fertilize it on a regular basis, it'll wither and die. Of course, you never mean to kill off your plant – life got in the way, you forgot to water it a few weeks in a row, and the next thing you knew, you were looking at a brown clump of dead stuff that used to be a beautiful fichus.
The same exact thing can happen to the relationship between you and your significant other: life gets busy and you become two ships passing in the night, barely having a moment to talk, never mind anything romantic.
Don't let this happen to you! Be proactive - do something that will make him or her feel special and help rekindle your love.
Need some suggestions? Here are a few tips to help keep your love alive:
Surprise Him / Her With Flowers or Candy
Flowers and candy aren't just for Valentine's Day anymore. Make your loved one feel special by surprising them with their favorite flower or candy. If you can, get them delivered to her work - the more special you can make her feel, especially in front of others, the better her reaction will be!
If you don't have a lot of money but still want to surprise her, then buy a bouquet of flowers from the grocery store and hand deliver them to her office. You'll get extra bonus points if you time it right so you can out out to lunch together and enjoy a little one-on-one time away from work.
Girls, this goes for your guy too! Having a girl send flowers to a guy's office will get his coworkers talking and really make him stand out. If flowers aren't his thing, then pick a fruit bouquet or candy that he can share with his buddies. Get inventive!
Have you and your love been apart for a long period time? Maybe she's been on a business trip for a week or he's been busy with classes or work and you're both in the need of some special alone time together? Now is the perfect time to plan out a special "mystery date" for your love. Plan out every detail - your activities, meals, tickets – so the only thing she of he has to do is show up ready for some fun!
Special Note: Do yourself and your lover a favor by giving them at least a week's warning or your little surprise date. The last thing you want to do is spend a week planning a "special day" only to find out that it coincides with a business trip or her nephew's birthday party.
Send a Love Letter
If you don't have the money for such extravagances like flowers or a fun day out, the next best thing is a love note. Taking the time out of your busy life to put actual pen to paper will mean something big to your love. Your actions will mean even more if you wrote love letters when you were first dating.
It doesn't have to be flowery or poetic. Write something sweet, touching, gentle - something that is special between you two. Make it stand out by writing it on special paper or inside a nice card and place it somewhere she or he will find it. You get bonus points if you slip into the lunch bag she takes to work or the briefcase he's taking on a business trip.
Of course, do your lover a favor and keep the note's contents to a G- or at least PG-rating. The last thing he needs is for a racy note to be passed around by his coworkers or accidently read by a client.
Take a moment to reminisce about your past. Dig out the photo album, crack open a bottle of wine, and fade into your memories. Even the bad moments are good to talk about – they remind you of the trouble waters that you treaded together and survived.
If your relationship is a bit too young to have such memories, do something that will remind her of your first date. Take her to the same restaurant, give her the same flowers, and walk her to the door like you did the first time you went out.
Explore New Places
Having some special time away from work and family pressures will help reconnect you two on a more personal level. Go to the city zoo, explore a park, or travel to a nearby amusement park and ride on the roller coasters. If money is short, go for a bike ride, attend a local event or festival together, enjoy a picnic lunch, or take a hike on a new trail. Check out for your local newspaper's calendar section for ideas – you never know what you'll find!
Nothing is more sensual or relaxing than bathing with your partner. The warm water and soap on skin take us back to being cared for when we were children. So draw a bath full of water, pour in some special soup, and invite your loved one for some special one-on-one time in the bathroom. A little soft music, rose petals, and scented candles will only add to the mood.
Give a Back or Foot Massage
After a long day of work, nothing feels better than five or ten minutes of relaxing touch, especially if it's given by the man or woman you love. Turn on some relaxing music, break out the nice-smelling lotion or massage oil, and rub away all the stress in his shoulders. If your girlfriend is on her feet all day, give her a relaxing foot massage to take the aches and pains away and help her relax.
The big thing about massaging your partner is to not approach the moment with the attitude of "I'll do you if you do me." This should a special treat, a gift given with no expectation of reciprocation. Don't worry - you'll get yours later!