Ever have that certain day that feels like no matter what you do you just can't seem to hold it together?  Your hands shake and you can't hold a conversation.  Your thirst can't be quenched and you have no appetite.  Those days where you feel like giving in and just falling onto your pillow.

Yeah.  Me too.

It doesn't last though.  Maybe it passes in an hour.  Maybe it takes a couple days.  But eventually I regain some sort of grasp on reality and am able to once again feel like I can contribute to the conversation.

But what do you do when this feeling of depression, of worhdrawl from society, overwhelms you?  Do you turn on the tv and drift away into zombieland?  Letting the images of the television float through one eye and out the other.  Bleeding your mind of consciousness.  Or do you pace impatiently around your home trying to think of productive ways to occupy your time but innevitably wasting away the day.

Your not alone... Or maybe I'm the only one that is so distracted by thoughts of worthlessness.

It's strange to me that anyone could find themselves with no motivation at all even when in such a beautiful place as Hawaii. I am only a frisbee through from a beautiful beach with great surfing and beautiful women.  I can walk downtown in mere minutes to where I can rent a fat beach cruiser for next to nothing.  I can drive less than five miles to a magnificent trail through a bamboo forest that will lead me to a secluded hundred foot waterfall.

Yet, with all of these adventures at my finger tips I still find myself pacing through this depression.

I wouldn't call myself the most handsome man, but I wouldn't call myself an unattractive man either.  I am fit.  I am strong.  I do have my vices but also know that these vices exist.  Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and think that you should be someone else?  That your face is only a mask.

The only thing I've learned that will supress this sense of worthlessness is skateboarding.

It is my release.