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Keeping The Spark Alive During Deployment - 7 Ways to Keep Your Love Alive While He's Stationed Overseas

By Edited Nov 13, 2013 1 1

Being Stationed Overseas doesn't mean your relationship must end!

Being a military spouse can be one of the toughest jobs in the world, especially when the love of your life is deployed, leaving you to worry about him while you have to deal with the kids, home, and base politics by yourself.  The stress and loneliness of deployment have torn apart many a military family – in 2011, the divorce rate of military families rose to 3.7%, up 1.1% from 10 years ago[1769].

Don't let this happen to you!  There are things you can do to keep the spark alive between you and your loved one during deployment.  Here are a few:

Keep in Contact:

The mere act of keeping in conta

Storage - Do You A Lot of These to Store?
ct with your loved one will help keep you emotionally connected even though he's thousands of miles away.  Constant contact also helps to keep up morale – just the mere thought that someone is thinking about them at home will keep them going even on their worst days.

Don't think you have to use snail mail - thanks to technology there are many ways to stay in contact without having to break out a stamp:

  • Email

  • Video/Voice Conferencing (like Skype)

  • Blogging

  • Video Blogging

  • Special secured forums set up by the military for family communications

Just keep in mind that no communication line is entirely secure. Depending on the mission your loved one is on, communication lines could be actively or passively monitored by military officials or sensors to ensure confidential information is not disclosed.  If you're not comfortable having a stranger read the steamier parts of your latest love letter, you might want to leave those out.  That goes for sexy chats across the phone and internet too.

Leave Him A Few Surprises

Before he heads out, tuck a few "surprises" into his bag to find when he's unpacking.  Maybe you write a few naughty notes or get some sexy "boudoir-style" pictures done and hide them in between his uniforms or inside a book for him to find later.  Or you could leave a pair of sexy panties in his bag with a note saying that you'll wear a matching set when he comes home.  Either way, make sure it's something special for you two.

Give Him A Few Keepsakes to Remind Him of Your Love

Some military spouses create special

The Happy Day - Will the happiness continue?
photo books of their wedding, family, and home so their loved one has a tangible reminder of what's waiting for him at home. 

Others have done the same thing with videos – converting videos of the kids and their wedding to digital format and posting them on youtube or added it to their iPod so their deployed spouse can view them anytime they way.

Send Care Packages

When you're out shopping, always keep an eye out for things that your deployed spouse might like, such as magazines, candy, trinkets, snacks, music, videos, etc.  Once you have a box full, package it carefully (the post office and military forces employ gorillas for handling overseas packages), and mail it out.  Make sure to toss in a supply of their favorite soap, shampoo, or perfume / aftershave – those sorts of things can be in short supply when deployed.

If you really want to be his or her champion, send extras of the treats and candy so he can share with his buddies.  Group stuff, like games and videos, are a big hit too.

Celebrate Special Occasions

One of the hardest parts of being de

Cheap Birthday Party Ideas for Kids
ployed is the fact that your loved one misses those special occasions and milestones that define your relationship.  Being apart on holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays can make the separate even harder…but thanks to some preplanning and technology, there are ways that he or she can still be involved in your special day even though you're apart:
  • On your loved one's birthday, send a cake, candles, plates, and napkins for him or her to share with their buddies.  You can make the cake yourself or have a

  • ry that specializes in such packaging, like Bake Me a Wish, do it for you. 

  • If a cake seems like too much of a hassle or too expensive, then send him a box of his favorite snack cakes (like Little Debbies), along with the plates and napkins so he can have his own little birthday party with his platoon.

  • Send Christmas gifts to your loved one.  Think small – these guys and gals need to stay mobile.  Some possibilities include iPod, handheld games, CD's, drawings from the kids, T-shirts, pictures, treats, etc. 

  • Find small, inexpensive items that he can give out as gifts to his friends or platoon members on Christmas Day.

  • Send decorations for their barracks – even the cheesy stuff you find at the dollar store will be a welcomed addition to their dreary barracks.

  • Take videos of Junior's birthday celebration or the family's Christmas celebration, making sure to include a personal message to him so he knows he's remembered on the special day.

Help Him or Her Stay In Contact With The Family

Family is a big thing for your deployed spouse.  Make it a point to keep them up to date on what's going on in the family.  For example, take picture every day of you and / or the kids and email it to him.  Take extra pictures and videos at family gatherings so even if he can't be at Great Aunt Ira's 100th birthday, he can feel like he was there.  Have family members record greetings and help them upload them to the internet so he can watch them.  Your extra work helping her keep in contact with the family will be greatly appreciated and demonstrates how much you love her.

Trust Him or Her

This is the most important tip

Couples still stay together - with some work
of all when it comes to dealing with deployment of your lover – make it clear that you trust him or her explicitly.  There will be times that he can't call you or your emails go unanswered for a very long time.  That doesn't mean that he's being "unfaithful" but rather the demands of work have pulled him away and he's not available at that moment to talk to you.

Even when your mind if filled with doubt, do not say or write anything that may be interpreted as you not trusting him.  Even if his latest email home mentions one of his female platoon members, it doesn't mean that they are doing anything.  Keep those dark thoughts to yourself – mentioning them will only drive a wedge between you.



Jan 1, 2012 10:55am
These are wonderful ideas for keeping the spark alive during deployment! I really feel for those military women and men, who couldn't be home this past Christmas. But their work is important, and I salute them one hundred percent. God Bless Our Troops, and God Bless America!
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  1. "Military Divorce Rates Continue Steady Climb." Military.com. 26/12/2011 <Web >

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