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Keeping A Marriage New

By Edited Nov 13, 2013 2 2

I have been married for over a year now since May 11th.  Summer, my wife, has been fantastic, loyal, loving, and all a man could hope for in a wife. That is not to say we do not have our series of problems. Honestly, if no couples had them over the years I would say something is strange about their relationship.
There are times when it feels like I have known my wife forever. There are others when I say it feels like we have not been together for long. I think that is good because it has that each day is like the first together sentiment. That is key in the long run.
When it comes to movies, sports, or conversation who wants something that is stale? The same can be applied to a marriage. Comfort, stability, feeling safe, is all wonderful things. On the flip side, we need excitement, laughter, surprise, wild and craziness from time to time.
I have always said why do you have to have only one or the other?  Find a way to combine all those aspects. Yes, it takes work but that is the fun and challenge in making a marriage work. Ever own that dictionary or almanac that you think you know so much about but you keep discovering little facts about it?
Well that is what marriage can be like. Open your eyes and look at your partner. Inside and out that is. Next step is to listen to your lover. Their wants, needs, fears, and ideas are important. Just as much as yours or even more so because this is your better half of you. Just listening and letting them unload any of the above examples shows you care.
Plan little surprises for each other. It does not have to cost money. From notes to voice-mails out of the blue can add spice to any marriage. Try to set aside at least one or two nights a month for going out somewhere. Between coupons and places like restaurant.com or Groupon, you should be able to find somewhere nice.
The factor is not so much where you go but getting out. To be able to talk quietly and freely. Having laughs and listening to each other is the main point. Exploring new places or a day out relieves stress and creates happiness.
Couples seem to be afraid to fight or tell each other things. If you cannot be open and honest with your spouse, with whom can you be truthful?
Getting things out in the open as soon as possible is paramount. Why have stressful nights sleeping or worrying about the problem when you can get it over and finished?
Sometimes you solve things and learn more about each other in the process too. In addition, the bonus of making up is great. Often it is as simple as taking an interest in something your lover enjoys. You do not have to do it all the time with them but just knowing you support them is critical.
Even if you each take a turn picking out a movie or TV show there are times when you went in thinking it would suck but you come away loving it as much as they do. I know that has happened to me and I had to watch more episodes of the series.
Every once and a while try to see if you and your spouse can go away for a mini-vacation. It does not have to be fancy and can be for one night even. Find a place that is not expensive or you can get stay points and have a wonderful time with your spouse. Find a nice location that has things that are easy to get to from the hotel/motel.
Do not always wait for your spouse to have to tell you something. Ask them about their day. Turn off the TV sometimes and give each other massages. A great way to relax and talk. Even if you both are very busy, make yourselves available to each other.
As always, find what works for your relationship. Ignore the advice that has no bearing for you and adapt the ones that will aid to your daily lives. Do not be afraid to be silly and joke around each other. If you are able to go out with another couple occasionally, go for it.
Sign up for an activity together. Perhaps do charity together. Helping others has its own reward. Helping your marriage grow is one of those hidden grants. Perhaps helping another couple with problems would bond you together likewise.
If you figure, your marriage is going to last forever well then think of how much work that has to be put in it to keep it going. Even decades are a long amount of time. Compromise, build together, and the work will not seem like that at all. It will be a pleasure and you will be proud of then strength of your love together.


Sep 27, 2012 10:53am
Great information! I've been married over 20 years and I feel like you do - sometimes it feels like forever and sometimes it feels brand new. Wonderful article, thumbs-up!
Sep 27, 2012 11:53am
Hi--As a person who has written a lot about marital relationships, I believe your entrance into that particular reality is insightful and positive. I have been married for over thirty years and so I do not believe "fighting" is a positiver at all. Beyond this however--great piece and two BIG thumbs up from me.
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