The Circle Continues...
And there go you go again asking for your friends’ advice on what to do with your relationship; you already knew what they had to say; this is not something new. But somehow, you feel the need to hear what they had to say over and over again. You listen but you do not heed their advice.
One way to know that you are in an abusive relationship is when you know you have to let go and leave but still you can’t no matter how much trying you do. When contemplating of leaving the relationship, flashbacks and memories the how good you once were together are the only things running through your head.
This is something most people involved in an abusive relationship feel. Your emotions play a great role in the decision process; the decision to stay and hope that things will get better is because of your immense emotions. It is for this reason that you need to control and learn how to detach emotionally from the relationship to be able to move forward.
The key to having the courage of ending an abusive relationship is realizing the underlying reasons for such strong feelings of holding on instead of letting go. Why are you holding on to the relationship when you know it does you no good? Why is detaching yourself emotionally very difficult to do?
Why can't I let go?
You’ve probably heard of the different phases of a relationship: the abusive phase, honeymoon phase and the stability phase; this is the cycle in which the relationship follows, unless you decide to totally stop and let go. Chances are, you’ve grown used to the unending cycle of the relationship that instead of putting an end to it, you wait for the difficult part to get over. While you’ve become accustomed to this cycle, it is still unhealthy and it could even probably be a threat to your over-all health.
Learning emotional detachment could help you totally free yourself of the abusive relationship you are in; it will teach you how to gradually guard yourself from the abuse and eventually let go. When you practice emotional detachment, you learn to build a wall or a bubble, something that protects you from pain and harm. The less emotionally involved you are with your partner, the less impact your partner will have on you. It’s like an automatic shield that protects you during abusive times in the relationship. Furthermore, the less emotionally attached you are to your partner, the more objective and clearer your understanding and decisions become. You will realize that you are no longer in a healthy situation and have to let go. Objectivity is an important behavior one should possess when in a relationship. While most of the decisions and feelings we have for our partners are due to our emotions, it is inarguably true that when you assess your relationship in a more objective manner the more you will see that your are no longer in a healthy relationship and that your partner is abusive and no good for you.
Emotional detachment can be a very useful technique in letting go of an abusive relationship. When you learn to practice this correctly, you spare yourself from feeling the pain. You deserve to be freed from an abusive relationship and you deserve to look for someone who will value you and not inflict pain nor any kind of abuse.
Yes, letting go of a relationship through emotional detachment could be very distracting and disappointing but if you realize how valued you are, you will learn how to give up on these relationship without a second thought.