Light Bulb Changer: Tired of falling off of wobbly chairs in dark rooms?
Are you tired of falling to your death from a ladder, chair, or table while trying to change a light bulb? Well you, my friend, are not very coordinated. Sorry, but somebody had to say it, you clumsy jerk. You are a klutz and a danger to yourself and others. You should never be allowed within ten feet of a tightrope. You might also want to get a light bulb changer, because let’s face it—you’ve got lights on the ceiling; sooner or later, they’re going to need replaced; and that stool you always stand on to change light bulbs is a little wobbly.
I had never heard of a light bulb changer before, but I caught wind of the idea, and I kind of like it. The idea makes sense. It’s basically a pole with a little gripper at the end. You reach up with it, and slide the gripper over the bulb. Then, twist it off. Then, put the new bulb inside the gripper, lift it back up, and twist it into the socket. Then, you shake the light bulb changer free of the bulb, and voilà! Light!
I know what you’re going to say. “Oh my God! This room is a disaster!” Yes, that tends to happen in dark rooms. You don’t notice little things like mustard stains on the rug, or the trail of ants stretching from the wall to the piece of pizza lying face-down underneath a chair. How did that get there?
Well, first make sure to change all the light bulbs, so you can see what you’re doing. Be careful of tracking ketchup all over the place, though. You might want to be barefoot for this so that if you happen to step in something sticky, wet, or gross, you’ll feel it. On the other hand, if there’s the possibility of anything sharp on the floor, put on some shoes, for God’s sake. And if there’s the possibility of rattlesnakes hiding under the couch, don’t be stupid. Do the right thing and wear appropriate snake protection.
Assess the Damage
Once you’ve used your light bulb changer to bring light to where there was once only darkness, then look around and assess the damage. Is this room worth cleaning up, or should it be quarantined? If the latter, contact the authorities and get ready to board up some doors and windows. But if it’s salvageable, then put on some gloves and get to work. It’s going to take a while before this place is presentable to guests again.
Or…you could always use your light bulb changer to take the bulbs back out, so nobody can see the mess!