Forgot your password?

Living a life of fear.

By Edited Nov 13, 2013 1 2

It all started ten years ago while I was waiting in line at the super market, I started to feel dizzy followed by a severe headache and a sweating all the while I was wondering if anyone noticed me acting strange. My hands began to shake and go numb, my mouth dry as sand, the room was spinning,  heart pounding so loud that I thought that everyone around me could hear it. My first instinct was to run, so I did.

In the parking lot I stood against the wall and caught my breath, "What just happened?" It was pure terror. I was sixteen when it started to happen more often; in malls, at school, at other people's houses, everywhere that wasnt home. I avoided going out and thought that I was a freak or going crazy, maybe had some type of disease. I went to my doctor and he said it was a generalized anxiety disorder and them some, weeks later I started to have some weird thoughts before going out.  I thought about the house setting on fire so I would stare at the stove for at least 30 minutes before I  could leave. Great, anxiety and OCD, perfect.

At Seventeen I was diagnosed with A.L.L Leukemia, as if I didn't feel bad enough, I now needed to have 4 years of chemotherapy. I lost all of my hair and as a teen, that's a big deal. I started to get home schooled because I could not be in public because of germs and me having a compromised immune system. Treatment all most killed me and I never had a stable home or family to help me through.  As the years went on I finished treatment and was in remission, which was great. I was so happy and I stared to take medication for my anxiety so I was able to have a normal life.

One month after my twentieth birthday my mom died of a drug overdose and it left me devastated. I am now married and have a baby and work full-time at my local hospital caring for the elderly. My anxiety is always still there everyday is a struggle and even at home I often have panic attacks I just pray that one day the will disappear. I have tried everything to combat this issue and I have come to terms with it , I still do everything I want even though I want to run away and crawl in to a hole. I will not let this disorder control my life.  I have learned how to fight my panic attacks instead of running away. There are hundreds of millions of people that live with anxiety and panic disorder around the world and I pray for them and I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Breathing exercises, Yoga, Medication and exercise along with a healthy diet and positive people is the key to overcoming anxiety.



Jun 24, 2011 7:01pm
Your candidness will no doubt help others who are suffering in silence. Thank you!
Jun 29, 2011 12:29am
Thank you :)
Add a new comment - No HTML
You must be logged in and verified to post a comment. Please log in or sign up to comment.

Explore InfoBarrel

Auto Business & Money Entertainment Environment Health History Home & Garden InfoBarrel University Lifestyle Sports Technology Travel & Places
© Copyright 2008 - 2016 by Hinzie Media Inc. Terms of Service Privacy Policy XML Sitemap

Follow IB Health