Loneliness and the LGBT Community

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     Are you a lonely person like a lot of us are? The days are long and the nights are longer; eventually you are having conversations with your cat or the TV set. Loneliness can be the most heartbreaking feeling a person can have; it weighs down on you like a huge rock on your shoulders. It’s so quiet in here is all you think to yourself and so you leave the TV on to fight back the feeling of being alone. It doesn’t always work but it’s better than nothing. People in the LGBT community (especially the transgender) are especially vulnerable to loneliness and despair; having been excluded from most of the mainstream social events in our society. There are very few venues that cater to us and we risk ridicule and violence whenever we leave our homes; it’s no wonder that we are home bound and lonely; feeling separate at a very deep level.  I wish I had the answers to society’s ills, but I do not. However I can give you some tips on how to deal with the loneliness, connect with people and get some joy out of your life.

  • Reach out with your computer: There are a lot of social networking web sites on the internet that can help you develop internet relationships with people in the same boat as you. facebook, Google + and twitter are just three of the most popular ones. There are also many LGBT social networking sites that have many nice people who are willing to be friends.  Christiangays.com for example; an excellent site for LGBT people to make friends and learning about Christianity (if you are interested about the Christian religion at all). There is an excellent social networking site called showcasefreedom.com which is very similar to facebook, but is specifically for LGBT people! So reach out and meet people on line; you will find that after some time you can make a few good friends that will stick with you for a while. An excellent cure for loneliness!
  • Volunteer: Find an LGBT friendly group or store you can volunteer with. You can meet a lot of people this way and feel good about what you’re doing as well. I met one of my best friends this way as well as a lot of very interesting people.
  • Community groups: Look around your area and find out what kinds of LGBT friendly community groups there are available. You can find anything from cooking to walking groups. Do you have a special interest you would like to explore? See if there are like minded community members in your area; and if you have to start your own group.
  • Re-connect with yourself: When you are alone but not feeling lonely, you are connected with yourself and enjoying your own company. Looks for things that you like and can do alone; taking walks, watching movies, reading a book or exercising for example. If you can re-connect with yourself that lonely feeling with be much less overwhelming and easier to deal with. Take yourself on a date, make dinner and watch a movie; see how you get along with yourself. This may also give you special insight into your own character and make you a well rounded person.
  • Be helpful: Find people who are lonely and give them what they are missing, a helpful friend. You can make friends fairly quickly this way by simply being helpful. Do a good deed and help your neighbor carry in their groceries, offer to help the guy next door to fix his car or help you with a chore. John Lennon once wrote, “The love you take is equal to the love you make”. This is true with a lot of things including friendships; the more you give the more you will receive; so just be helpful and see where things go.
  • Improve yourself: Don’t just sit around feeling sorry for yourself and wallowing in your loneliness, work on improving yourself. Start working out, go jogging, take a course at the local community college or become a LGBT activist. Learn a new skill, practice your dancing or learn how to write great articles for infobarrel.com. The more you improve yourself the more attractive you will be to other people and you may find not yourself alone for very long.
  • Deal with your issues: Do not let your issues affect someone else’s happiness so take care of them. You may have issues that drive people away from you; dealing with these can help you become more attractive. So take that shower and get a haircut, wash your clothing and clean up your apartment. Deal with your financial or emotional issues before you try to connect with someone. People do not want to add more problems to their life; they want someone who will take their minds off their troubles. So be that person and watch people try to befriend you.

     Loneliness can start in childhood and dog you for the rest of your life so the sooner you learn the skills to overcome loneliness the better. When you are disconnected from everything around you, including yourself, loneliness creeps into your life and can take the flavor out of everything. You can be in a relationship with someone and feel lonely because you’re disconnected from your significant other. It can lead to depression which can be very serious and damage your life very badly. If this is the case then immediate medical or psychological help may be required. Don`t leave it until you`re talking to yourself and looking at suicide! Most of the reasons you feel lonely are not of your own doing, LGBT are constantly forced to the fringes of society and must fend for itself. However learning how to combat the feelings of loneliness can help you get through your daily grind and actually get some enjoyment out of life. So get out there, meet people, help them out, improve yourself, deal with your issues and soon you will have a great social life; making many friends over the course of your lifetime!

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