We all want to radiate our best and most positive traits to our partner. However, there are also some bad traits out there that everyone wants to avoid. Relationships are about compromise, trust and most importantly; love. So consider the feelings of your significant other and you will become a better husband or wife to them. In this article I will discuss just five of the bad personality traits that can occur in relationships. I offer suggestions on how to improve and manage these more negative characteristics and on how to turn them into a positive.
Requesting or asking your partner to do something is one thing, but asking repeated would probably constitute nagging. Nagging can be irritating for both people involved and both can feel frustrated with the situation. It is best to clearly communicate to your partner only once if you have a problem or concern. See how they respond to your feelings and listen to what they say.
Try to always be reasonable with your husband or wife when making a request. However, if you are on the receiving end of a nagging partner, then express your frustration and annoyance in a calm verbal manner to your partner. The key is not to raise your voice but to stay calm. Your partner will be more responsive to you if you communicate in a steady and non-aggressive tone of voice. Certainly, when you are frustrated this may take a lot of will power, but it will pay off in the long run if you can achieve it.
Nobody wants to feel pressured into doing a task such as cleaning the dishes or washing the car. But if the worst situation arises and neither of you want to step up to the plate, then being the bigger person yourself and actually accomplishing the requested task may be the only option. If you do take this route then it will help to diffuse the situation. However, you can still voice your concern to your partner. If the nagging occurred over household chores for example, then perhaps you could both come to a solution together. For example, creating a weekly chores sheet to follow could solve the issue.
Nagging can remind one of their parents and the hierarchy of the ‘parent-child’ relationship. This is not an attractive trait to possess in a relationship where both parties should feel like equals. Therefore, in a couple the relationship should be one of equality and fairness. Be the voice of reason and not the voice of your parents!
2. Always Being Right
Some people like to always be right and do not like to admit when they are in the wrong. It can be difficult to admit one’s failures or short comings but doing so could actually be a good thing for your relationship. Not only will admitting you are wrong about something display your vulnerability to your partner, it will also show your empathy with the other person’s feelings.
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It is an attractive trait to be humble and truthful and admitting when you are wrong is certainly one of these characteristics. On the other hand, if you were always adamant that you were correct then it does not leave much give or take for equality within your partnership or marriage. It would display a stubborn and more selfish attitude to situations which is not attractive to a partner. Therefore, realize that you cannot 'win them all' and take into account the feelings of your partner in situations too.
3. Concentrate On The Present
It can be easy to over think the past and wonder about your partner’s previous relationships. Equally, you may worry about the future with your partner and wonder whether the relationship has any sense of direction. All of this stressful and anxious thinking can be detrimental to the wonderful relationship that you may have in the present moment.
Therefore, one should always try to appreciate the current time that can be spent with a significant other. Concentrate on the happy feelings that you are experiencing right now, this very minute. Think about why you appreciate your boyfriend or girlfriend and why you are thankful for them.
Ask yourself about the ways in which they make you feel special. Write a list of their good attributes and another list of how great they make you feel. You could even consider showing this list to your husband or wife because it will only be a positive experience reflecting on the strength of your relationship together.
4. Forget Control
In a relationship you can of course only control your own actions and thoughts. You cannot control the actions of your partner. (As many times as you may wish that they would pick up dirty towels from the floor or vacuum once in awhile!) However, it can be difficult for some people when they move in with a partner for the first time to adjust. This is because one needs to regulate their own lifestyle to the way that their other half lives.
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Your husband or wife’s attitudes towards cleanliness or tidiness for example may be very different to yours. However, you need to both find a common ground to move forwards as this will make you both happier. So do not think about control and instead think about balancing your actions by being more of a partnership and a team.
5. Don’t Interrupt
Lastly, when you are having conversations with your partner, try to always allow them to finish their sentences. Frequently interrupting someone is seen as dismissive and shows a real lack of respect for that person. Instead, if you are patient and actively listen to your other half, then you will be showing them consideration and kindness.
Hopefully your partner will then show you the same level of consideration in return and you will both be building upon a great foundation for your relationship. A relationship where teamwork and equality can lead the way.
I hope that these five pointers on the bad traits in a relationship can be of use to you. Whether you are just starting a new relationship and looking for advice, or a simply seeking a quick refresher on some of the basics.