Romantic Ideas For Relationships after Retirement
Learning to Express Your Love
Many people believe that the romance goes out of a relationship as the years go by. Often movies depict middle aged couples who seem bored or disinterested in each other. It is almost a cliché to assume that by the time a couple reaches retirement age, they are no longer interested in love and romance. Nothing could be further from the truth. Whether you are dating again after being widowed or divorced, or you are still in a long and happy marriage, many couples continue to feel warm and romantic towards each other, whether the relationship they are in has lasted five months or fifty years!
No matter how long two people have been together, it takes an effort to express your love towards each other. If you expect to enjoy love and romance in your golden years, you need to continue to update your repertoire of romantic ideas. My husband and I have been married nearly 43 years, and we still love to give each other surprises and spend time with each other. Sometimes it is a small gift; other times it is a special date. Here are some of the favorite ways that we have found to express our love for each other over the decades.
You do not have to spend a lot of money in order to show someone that you care. My husband will sometimes pluck a rose from our garden, put in into a tiny vase and leave it on the kitchen counter, without saying a word. This thoughtfulness brings me as much joy as a bouquet of expensive flowers from a shop.
I also love it when he remembers something I need, and picks it up for me when he is out running errands. If he is in the hardware store, and remembers that my closet door has gotten a little loose or a similar repair needs to be made around the house, I really appreciate it. It is so delightful to have things working properly, again! However, even more important is the knowledge that he was thinking about me while he was out.
The Gift of Attention
One of the best gifts we can give each other is the simple gift of attention. How often do you sit with your spouse and just chat? How regularly do you go for a walk with each other? Sometimes when my husband is puttering in the garage or on the back patio, I enjoy taking a cup of tea and sitting out there with him to chat for a few minutes.
On other occasions, we both often simply turn off the TV in the evening and just spend an hour talking to each other.
The Gift of Time Alone
My husband and I both enjoy reading, and that can require some quiet time, free of conversation and other annoyances. I also enjoy taking some time each day to write, do research, answer emails and engage in similar activities. My husband is very considerate about allowing me time each day for these pursuits. I also try not to bother him when he is engrossed in a riveting novel. Although we both enjoy spending time together, we also recognize that it is important for each of us to have some time to pursue our own interests, as well. Allowing each other a little peace and quiet each day is another gift we give each other.
Doing Chores for Each Other
My husband and I often try to do chores for each other. He is very helpful around the house, especially when it comes to cooking some of the meals, doing the dishes, running the vacuum and washing windows. On the other hand, I have always tried to do all the shopping for him, even when it involves buying gifts for his family members, ordering holiday gifts for clients, etc. I also pay the bills and handle the household finances. We feel that we make a good team, and I think this feeling is an important part of expressing our love and having a successful relationship.
Recently, my husband took me on a date to the Hollywood Forever Cemetery in Hollywood, California. He was excited about the surprise he had planned, and didn’t tell me why we were there until we were inside the gates and parking our car. He had purchased tickets for us to see a play called “Citizen Twain” that was written, directed, produced and performed by the actor, Val Kilmer. The performance was being held in the Masonic Lodge on the property of the cemetery. We had a wonderful time, and I was delighted that he had come up with such a creative idea for a date.
When holidays come around, such as birthdays and Christmas, we often purchase tickets to special events for each other. Not only do we enjoy receiving the gift that day, but we get to continue to enjoy it on the day of the actual event. We both spend a lot of time thinking of events that our partner would enjoy, which is an important part of the way we express our love.
Over the years, like most couples with a large family, most of our vacations during the child rearing years were family trips. We enjoyed these trips, and they continue to be the source of many wonderful family memories.
However, my husband and I always made an effort to plan trips for just the two of us, even when our children were young. We recognized that we always needed to focus some time on our relationship, without the kids around. Now that we are in our 60’s, we especially enjoy traveling together. Today, it is so much easier to simply throw a few things in a suitcase and take off. Sometimes we travel to visit our grown children. However, on other occasions we have traveled to places where we could spend time alone or with friends. We have had many wonderful trips over the years to Europe,Canada,Las Vegas,Hawaiiand other locations. But it isn’t always necessary for us to go far. We have even spent romantic weekends at some of the nearby elegant resort hotels that are within ten miles of our home. Even though we didn’t go out of town, we felt as if we were having a second honeymoon … something we all enjoy once in a while, no matter what our age.
As you can see, building a strong relationship requires time and attention, even in your 60’s. Never take your partner for granted. Whether you do the little things that cost nothing, or you spend thousands of dollars on a major trip, it is important to reach out and show you care. More than anything else, it is necessary that we learn how to express our love if we want healthy, happy relationships!
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