Low Self Esteem
Low self esteem is something that many people suffer from in
this modern world. There are varying degrees of low self esteem ranging from a
vague slightly disconnected feeling through to crippling insecurity and stress
leading to a major withdrawal from the world and perhaps drug/alcohol abuse, depression
or even suicide.
Use the list below to check if you display any symptoms of low self esteem
10 Symptoms of Low Self Esteem
Physical Appearance. Does your house lack mirrors and the ones that you do have are used only when absolutely necessary because you don't like to look at yourself? Do you hate having your photograph taken because "you just aren't photogenic"? Do you turn away when you catch a glimpse of yourself in a shop window?
Communication. Do you hate small talk or joining in
conversations because you think that what you have to say will not be very
interesting to your companions? Do you sometimes not answer the phone or feel uncomfortable talking on it because
you never know what to say? Do you avoid expressing yourself if something makes you angry? Do you have a general difficulty in verbalising your emotions?
Socialising. When you walk into a room and there is a burst of laughter do you naturally assume that the laughter is directed at you. Do you feel uncomfortable in social situations? Do you like to have one or two drinks before you go out just to set you up? Do you feel that the real you only comes out when you have had a few drinks? Do you feel more comfortable socially in fancy dress or when you are wearing a mask?
Friendships. Have you always been a shy person who finds it
difficult to make and keep friendships? Do you get possessive and jealous about
the friendships that you do have? Are you unhappy sharing your friend with
another person? Are you a "people pleaser" or feel that it is always you that
goes the extra mile to make a friendship work?
Employment. Do you find yourself applying for jobs where you can work alone or generally unsupervised.. Do you decide not to apply for jobs or promotion because you know you won't get the job? Do you prefer to sit alone or go for a walk during the lunch break? Do you feel that your work colleagues don't like you? Do you feel more comfortable communicating within your employment because you are playing a role? Do you feel that your job is a big part of who you are?
Relationships. Do you find it difficult to approach members of the opposite sex? Have you ever lost a relationship through being too possessive and jealous? Do you find yourself having a lot of one night stands and feeling used and guilty afterwards? Do you feel that there is someone better out there for your partner and that it is only a matter of time before they meet that person? Do you find that falling in love makes you feel even more insecure? Do you check your partners' email or mobile phone to see who they have been communicating with?
Inverse Pride. Do you accumulate certain possessions not because you want them but because it helps create a certain impression for others to see? Are you obsessed by the impression other people have of you? Do you always give very expensive gifts even when you can't afford it? Do you find yourself excessively interested in the failings of others because it makes you feel better about yourself? Are you drawn to gossip or talking negatively about other people in their absence?
Addictive Personality. Do you have a tendency towards addiction? Are you always the person who gets hopelessly drunk at social occasions? Do you have a tendency to use mood altering substances? Are you compelled to gamble or do you find yourself compulsively shopping to make yourself feel better? Do you eat to make yourself feel better? Are you compelled to work more than you should be? Are you addicted to any aspect of the internet?
Depression and Anxiety. Do you feel disconnected from the rest of society? Do you suffer from insomnia? Do you suffer from stress and headaches? Do you grind your teeth or clench your jaws a lot? Do you spend a lot of your time feeling that the demands on you are greater than your resources? Do you ever think that the world would be a better place without you in it?
Escapism. Do you always feel that the grass is greener on the other side? Do you have an aversion to responsibility? Are you drawn to long-term travel or moving to another country? Do you spend a lot of your time reading or watching television to take your mind off things rather than because you want to?
You may recognise yourself or certain aspects of yourself
within this list which is by no means comprehensive. You may suffer from a few or many of these symptoms. One important factor when examining your own personality is humility in the form of self-honesty. It is
all too easy to let denial of a problem hinder the search for a solution. After
all we all need our "crutches" don't we? Or do we?
Watch out for a linked article on where low self esteem comes from and what we can do about it.