Loyalty People and Integrity People
One way of analyzing personality is to understand the differences between Loyalty People and Integrity People. These are merely labels, but the ideas behind the labels can aid us as we deal with interpersonal relationships in the workplace and in our personal lives. These labels help to understand the way people see the world. Here are some descriptions of Loyalty people vs. Integrity people, as well as some ways that we can use our understanding to have better relationships with the people around us.
Loyalty people are loyal to other people. They will do almost anything that a friend needs, even if it means bending or breaking their own principles. Relationships are the most important thing to these people - the source of their power and the way they understand the world. People are what matter. Relationships are central. Loyalty people are often charismatic, confident, and surrounded by people.
Loyalty people may tease or criticize their closest friends and family, but come to their defense if anyone else outside the group tries to criticize their friend or family in the same way.
Loyalty people generally need to recruit help or a team to get things done. They build a rapport with people so that they have support, and maybe even someone to cover for them if they aren't able to do the job.
If a Loyalty person goes up to a Loyalty friend, and says "I have a body in my trunk that I need your help to bury it," the loyalty friend will help bury the body and ask questions later.
Integrity people are, above all, loyal to their principles. Abstract principles are held in the highest regard and they would never consider breaking one of their cherished principles -- even to help a friend. Integrity people make sense of the world and find purpose through their guiding principles.
Integrity people are often slow to open up and be vulnerable to others. Integrity people often develop a small and intense group of friends who all believe in the same guiding principles.
Integrity people generally get things done. They work hard and try to do what they say they are going to do.
If a Loyalty person goes up to an Integrity friend and says " I have a body in my trunk that I need your help to bury," the Integrity friend will say "What in the world happened? You need to tell me the whole story before I help you. I don't want to risk being an accessory to a crime."
Loyalty people and integrity people can be friends, teammates, and productive co-workers as long as they share the same principles.
Loyalty people can feel hurt by integrity people when they perceive a betrayal of alliances, even if there is principle behind it. Since loyalty people go out of their way to support their friends, they feel stabbed in the back when their Integrity friend doesn't support them because of their principles.
Integrity people often do not understand the success of loyalty people. They can be tempted to become jealous when they see their success, and don't understand that it is due to a network of loyal people - a network that Loyalty people have been building while Integrity people were following other principles of success.
Both groups of people have principles, it's just that Loyalty people are more willing to bend or break those principles if a good friend asks to them to do it. Integrity people are less willing to bend or break their principles, even if a good friend asks them to do it.
Tips for Better Relationships
Understanding if a person is a Loyalty person or an Integrity person can help interpersonal friendships, co-worker relationships, romantic relationships, and managerial relationship.
To improve a troubled relationships, first, identify if you are a Loyalty or Integrity Person using the above descriptions of both groups.
If you are a Loyalty person having trouble with an Integrity person:
Understand that the Integrity people in your life have very good reasons for every decision they make. Understand that they may feel jealous of you, thinking that your success or power is undeserved. You will probably have to be the one to keep the lines of communication open, and when you do, try to get to the root of the matter, and figure out what principle they were following when they took the action that felt like a betrayal to you. Do they feel like you failed to live up to one of the principles that they thought you shared with them? The biggest challenge for you will be overcoming your feelings of betrayal to have a conversation with an unknown outcome. The Integrity person may be hoping you will apologize for breaking one of their principles. If you discover that you did break a principle that you value, then apologizing would be a good thing that would go a long way towards healing the relationship.
If you are an Integrity Person have trouble with a Loyal person:
Understand that if the Loyalty person ever did anything supportive or made any friendly gesture toward you, they expect that you will always treat them in the same supportive and friendly way at all times. Understand that the Loyalty person may have fought for you or supported you behind your back when others were gossiping about you or belittling your ideas. You may not know about this, but the Loyalty person assumes that you are doing the same for them when they are away - they expect that you are always looking out for their best interests. In a way, you are their world. Relationships are everything to them, and if you do something - even out of integrity - that appears harmful to them, they will be deeply, and possibly permanently, hurt. Cherish your alliances with Loyalty people and don't break them if you expect to keep the friendship alive.