Oh how I Miss Thee!
Being a parent is the most amazing, wonderful, crazy and full filling thing in the world, something that most of us get to experience but unfortunately not everyone for many different reasons. Some people simply choose not to have children and sometimes I can relate as to why.
Having a baby or raising a family is something that most people plan to do sometime throughout their lives, myself included. Yet when doing so we forget about the little luxuries in life we will be giving up. Sometimes, well most of the time these are worth giving up, but does that mean we don’t miss them or wish we could have them? No! What I would give to have some of these from time to time.
I think the luxury of having a full night’s sleep for the mother starts at early pregnancy. From countless nights waking up to pee, or to not being able to roll over and be comfortable due to having a massive balloon attached to your belly. But once the child is born from day 1 you can kiss a full night’s sleep goodbye, and that goes basically for both the mother and father. Feeding through the nights, nappy changes, and even as the child grows up there are things that will stop you from sleeping all night. Bedwetting, bad dreams, a monster in their cupboard or as recently I have been going through, trying to catch the child in the kitchen who decides midnight snacks are great!
There’s something that children are born with that slowly disappears as we get older. The energy to go go go as the Energizer Bunny perfectly states, Children have so much energy and fight going to bed. I swear they drink from a Fountain of Youth, to which they do not share with us Adults.
I remember thinking “Oh do I have to go to bed?” which has now turned into “Oh do I have to get out of bed?” I simply cannot remember the last time I had a full night’s sleep.
The toilet and showers are not the portals to other dimensions,
I just want to pee!
Children for some reason, think that when we need to use the toilet or bathroom that we are trying to escape or run away. Although whilst sitting there trying to have a pee, listening to the yelling at the door (if we are lucky enough for them to actually leave the door closed) we might think “If only we could run away for a while”, we actually are just peeing.
I think it’s somewhere in the Children’s Manual that us as parents don’t get to read it states “Do not let them go into the toilet or bathroom alone with the door shut, it is a portal to another dimension and you may never see them again!”.
I decided one day to make a sign and put it on the toilet door, stating the above. "This Toilet is not a portal to another dimension, the person in here is simply using the toilet. Please wait until they have finished to speak to them". Surprisingly it works!
There are of course the lucky parents whose children didn’t get the chance to read this manual and therefore leave them to shower and use the toilet in peace. Or those children who have finally realised that it is safe to let us venture in there alone, but for some parents such as myself we are yet to have a shower in silence, or sit on the toilet in peace.
I’m sure this meal is supposed to be eaten hot!
Many parents try and eat whilst their child is asleep or busy to try and get in that once in a lifetime hot, yummy, freshly just made meal. Does this always work? No! When parents are eating their food, children usually decide it’s the perfect time to ask for something, whether that be more food, a drink, a toilet run or whatever they decide is important enough to interrupt us eating. For me personally my children wait until I have sat down to ask for more.
So many parents become accustomed to eating their food cold, hours after it has been served or sometimes simply not at all. The simple luxury of eating a freshly served hot meal usually goes out the window once children are born.
When did I lose myself in all this?
Becoming a parent is a life changing experience that has to be adapted to in many different ways, and many of us lose ourselves in the meantime. There’s less if any time for “Me Time”, and so many of the things we used to do are exactly that, we used to do them. Going out to parties, Fancy Dinners, Child Free Shopping, or those Golf or Art classes are long gone. Most of the time we end up sitting at the Parks with a mothers group, at home doing constant house work, or sitting in the playgroup making play dough whilst wondering where we lost ourselves in all of this. In some cases, although not all your social life is majorly impacted unless you are friends with people in the same situations and enjoy things such as play groups and home coffee’s.
One of my favourite sayings is “Just because you have children, does not mean you are defined by them. Each person is their own.” And to this I truly believe and am still to this day trying to find myself again after losing it in the last 10 years of motherhood. Don’t get me wrong, I love my children, but I love myself also and to be the best mother I can be, I like all parents need to find things to keep myself amused also.
I just want a Lazy Day
The days of lazing about are now over and replaced with endless piles of washing, dishes, sweeping up leftovers and answering “Mum and Dad calls”. What I would give to have a time machine that could freeze one day if only one, where I could have a lazy day sitting about reading a book whilst the housework didn’t accumulate. I could just ignore it of course, but as any parent would know doing that simply makes it worse and your piles double to the point it’s hard to catch up.
Some people feel that people who are stay at home parents, don’t work. Wellbeing one myself I beg to differ. Just because we don’t leave the house and work in an office doesn’t mean that we are not working. Our days are filled with endless chores that do not stop until finally everything is done, everyone is asleep, and we are ready for round 324 the next day. That is assuming everyone stays asleep and we don’t need to get up during the night.
I can’t even remember what it’s like to get Funky!
Did someone say the S word? This of course would boil down to each couple themselves, but a lot of parents find it difficult to find the time or energy to have “Special Adults Time”. Some children sleep in their beds, others simply won’t sleep, and other times they are to exhausted from day time work they simply can’t be bothered.
In some cases after having a child, some people are simply turned off sex and no longer want it; others want it but can’t find the time. There needs to be a line drawn here as to many people let the children take over the bedroom and this affects the relationship of the parents.
For me personally I think Sex is an important part of a relationship and this is something I have never let suffer because of being a mother. Unfortunately not all are in the same boat; some don’t even want to be. But finding the time to be intimate with their partners is often something major that is affected after becoming a parent.
Of course there are so many others, it really depends on each person. If you have any of your own feel free to leave me a comment. Here are just a few more for starters.
Privacy in General
Sleep in on weekends
Conversations that don’t have some form of cartoon characters in them.
Going out without having to pack the kitchen sink and all.
Uninterrupted Movies and Shows
Money, Children can be rather expensive making sure they have everything they need and trying to give them the best.
At the end of the day, it is all worth it, and we wouldn't have it any other way.