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Make A Long Distance Relationship Work For Beginners

By Edited Nov 10, 2016 1 2

How to Manage A Long Distance Relationship

Every relationship takes a lot of work, but long distance relationships require a special type of commitment.  In a long distance relationship, both people have to realize the amount of work that will be required by both people.  It takes a lot of energy and effort to make a long distance relationship work.

Discuss Everything

In a relationship it is important to communicate everything.  In a long distance relationship, you need to discuss everything.  Making assumptions is dangerous when you are in a long distance relationship. There are too many things that can go wrong if you do not take the time to discus everything.

Long Distance Relationship(96958)
It is probably best to keep a list of things that you need to discuss.  When you are in a long distance relationship, you do not have the benefit of running into your significant other.  You might find it helpful to keep a little notebook of things that you want to discuss.  IF you don’t want to keep a notebook, you might send an email of topics that are on your mind at the end of each day or week. Whatever you do make sure that it helps you discuss everything that is going on.  This one piece of advice can help you have a great long distance relationship.

Choose Your Words Wisely

It goes without saying that it is important to use the best words that you can.  This is one of the easiest ways that you can make sure that you give your long distance relationship a chance. 

How do you choose your words wisely? Well, you should try to think before you speak.  It seems pretty simple but in reality it is a lot harder than you think.  If you are prone to saying things that you do not mean, here are some tips that you can use to make sure that you choose your words wisely.

Let Others Go First: Sometimes you can focus so much on what you want to say that you forget to include the other person in the discussion.  Lettings your significant other go first gives you the opportunity to address his or her concerns.

Paraphrase:   Communication is not always about the words that are said.  Even if you choose your words wisely, you can still make mistakes.    When you are spaking emphasize the important points.  Don’t go overboard, but if you focus on a few things, you have a better chance of communicating better.

Time

Schedule Time: Most successful couples schedule time for each other.  Some people talk on a nightly basis and some talk on a less frequent basis.  The number of times that you talk is irrelevant.  The most important thing is that both people feel that the other person is there for them.  It is better to plan ahead and ensure that you stick to a schedule than it is to try to care one out later.  If you live in different time zones try to pick a time that is convenient for both people.

Divide Time You will need to divide your time between both people.  The best way to divide the time is to spend time doing activities that each person likes and has an opportunity to participate in.  For instance, if you enjoy shopping, you can go shopping as a couple but you should also take the time to do what your spouse or significant other enjoys.

Prioritize

In a relationship, you want to maximize the time that you have together.  Don’t spend too much time on tasks that do not matter.  If you both hate to cook, then don’t spend most of the day cooking.  You should go out to a restaurant instead.  This will allow you to spend more quality time together.

Be Selfish With Your Time

One of the reasons that it is difficult to be in a long distance relationship is because of the amount of couple activities that exist.  Often people expect that a relationship will also be a convenient way of securing a companion for events.  Think about it.  There are so many events that suggest or recommend a date that people often rely on their partner or spouse as a default companion.  However, in a long distance relationship, you want to be careful that you don’t spend all of your time with other people.  There are so many events that you can be invited to attend that you might not have the time to work on your relationship.  So, say no to other people more than you say yes.

Take Turns Choosing Activities

Even if one person says that it is fine if you do most of the talking, you should still share the time.  Of course some people may not talk as much, but they should still have the opportunity to speak or they always travel to you, it may not be fine in the long run.  You want to make sure that you both spend time with each other.

Be Understanding

A long distance relationship requires a lot of understanding. Inevitably, people will make mistakes.  It is always easier to communicate in person than it is to communicate any other way.  

Use Technology

Technological advances often get blamed for opening the gateway to the bad things in the world.  But when it comes to relationships, technology can be a huge advantage.  If you live far away from your significant other, you can Skype him or her.  You can also send emails or text message.  

Trust Is The Main Ingredient

If you do not trust the person that you are dating, then a long distance relationship will not work.  Unlike a regular relationship, those in long distance relationships cannot check to see what the other person is doing.  You just have to trust that the person is really doing what they say they are doing.  This is not the type of relationship that you want to enter if you distrust the other person.  If you have any doubts, it is better to end the relationship rather than drive yourself crazy with wondering.

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Comments

May 1, 2012 12:39am
vicdillinger
"Choose your words wisely" is the isngle best piece of advice you could give anyone taking the chance of maintaining a solid relationship over distance. It is so easy to be misunderstood -- the nuances of body language, tone, etc., are missing in e-mail, and even phone calls can go astray if not clear.

"Discuss everything" is likewise sound, and I would NOT trade the candor I have with my long-distance woman for anything (except to be right next to her of course!)

Relationships are hard enough; long-distance maintenance can be downright brutal if neither party is completely invested. Good overview, and a thumb.
May 1, 2012 2:44am
AuroraWindsor
Hi vicdillinger!! Thank you for your comments. I am so glad that this article resonated with you. I hope that other people will benefit as well.
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